Veer—The Review

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“Yeh mere dadda ke talawar firangiyon ke gardanon ke liye hai” yells Veer (Salman Khan) the eponymous hero of Anil the Gadar Sharma’s moving epic “Veer”. Now most people in their right minds know that when the Dadda in concern (movie name: Prithvi Singh, the general of a tribe of drunks called the Pindaris) is being played by Mithunda the God Of all Mega-sized Things, they should do well to stay clear of his dangling talawar.

King Gajendra, played by Jackie Shroff, however oblivious of Prabhuji’s power and over-estimating his own, decides to betray the Pindari tribe to the British within the first few minutes of the movie.

Big mistake.

Barely settling into your seats balancing your popcorn, you catch, through the corner of your eye, Jackie Shroff’s arm flying across the screen cut clean off with one scythe off Prabhuji’s sword as the tune from “Ude ude hain” echoes in your ears, the song “Ude Ude Hain” being from the   famous Mithun-Jackie sleeper-hit “Yamraaj” where they shared screen time under happier circumstances.

And before you can catch your breath, ‘ Hawkins ki citi baaji, khusboo hi khushboo udi” and Mithunda’s wife (played by Neena Gupta who remains in our mind for that Hawkins ad) gives birth to a baby power-house Veera, of course after much citi bajaana that mercifully takes place off-screen.

This baby Veera “chuttar dhone se pahele bandook chalana seekh jata hai” (to quote Ishqiya) and is soon robbing trains, travelling ticketless and doing nayan matakka with comely Princess Yasodhara (played by Zarine Khan, a pudgier version of Katrina Kaif continuing the tradition of Salman Khan acting with duplicates of his girl-friends like Aishwarya-look-alike Sneha Ullal in “Lucky”)

But Prabhuji has plans for his son Veera. That being to send him over to the United Kingdom as a student so that he can understand the twisted mind of the colonialists, come back to India and cut off some English limbs and gardanein. There together with his brother Punya (Sohail Khan) who not co-incidentally rhymes with Sunya, Veera sprouts quotations from George Bernard Shaw in broken English to silence the racist teacher, participates in college fests (complete with a person of African descent dancing hiphop),   fights with the evil Indian royals (played by Aryan Vaid and Bal Bramhachari Puru Rajkumar) who speak in horrible British accents, dances with hotties, runs over pavement dwellers—-in the process ripping open the British empire from stem to stern. (Some have conjectured that the UK government’s recent decision to suspend the granting of  student visas to Indians has been motivated by “Veer”).

Coming back to the country, Veera then hatches a twisted plot of infiltrating King Gajendra’s lair (King Gajendra having by then replaced his cut-off hand with that of C3PO’s– of Star Wars fame) as well as of winning over Princess Yashodhara , a plot which will culminate in people biting people’s hands, people tearing off other people’s love handles, a Troy-inspired fight with a man who goes by the name of Mahabali Rhino and a climactic hand-to-hand  battle that will make even Hector and Achilles cry with shame.

But the story, great as it is, is not the most awesome thing about ‘Veer’.

Indeed ‘Veer”s cinematic magnificence rests on two foundations.

The first of these is Salman Khan. The actor. You know this is going to be all about the Khan, known for his love for animals (particularly those on the verge of extinction) the moment the movie begins as the following message is flashed on the screen.

All animals appearing in the film have been treated properly and without any cruelty. Also the horse falling scene in the film is done computer generated animated shot.

Cinema historians will note that this is the movie when the torch of Godliness passed definitely from Mithun-da to Salman. Calling himself Veera (a reference to Mithun-da character Heera jo chaku se bullet ko cheera), Salman Khan recycles a line originally used by Mithun-da (Cheetah jail theke beriyeche. Saaper chobol ar cheetar khabol jekhane pore arai kilo mangso tule ney which translates to ‘Cheetah is out of jail. Whenever the snake strikes or the cheetah bites, they take with them 2.5 Kg of meat’) by repeatedly saying ‘ Jahaan se pakroonga paanch sher gost nikaaloonga’ .  This is as great a homage to Prabhuji that has ever been given on screen.

There are many wow moments in Salman’s performance like when he pins down Puru Rajkumar on the ground and starts inserting and withdrawing his sword into the ground right next to the supine Rajkumar while groaning “Haaye haaye” or when a tiger roars in the background as he fights (it sounds like his stomach is rumbling) or when he executes the “Ek garam chaaye ki payeli ho” dance move with three memsahebs. The most glorious moments however are left for when Salman and Mithun-da share screen-space as son and father. Nowhere is this magic more evident when after Veer comes back from the UK, his drunk dad asks him , in the manner that all fathers do when they meet their phoren-returned sons, ‘Mere liye koi memsem naheen laya?’

‘Veer”s second foundation is also Salman Khan. The script-writer. Co-written with a man called Shaktiman, this is slated to become one of the scripts students of film will pore over for many years to come.

Sample1:

Memsaheb (shocked expression): Accidentally, your father’s hand came out.

Sample 2:

Indian coolie: Angela-ji….
Memsaheb: Angela
Indian coolie: (flirting) Good. You are good.
Memsaheb: Thank you. But this jungle is no good.

Sample 3:

Character1: So what time?
Character 2: Wrong time.

If the sharp dialogs have made you dizzy, there is the costume design wherein Veer wears anything that makes him look hot (jeans etc), period be damned, the overall acting style wherein it seems that actors were paid on the basis of how much they could shout and of course the same kind of subtle direction that we saw from Anil Sharma in Gadar Ek Prem Katha.

In all, an epic of epic proportions. Unadulterated heaven.

[Reminder: The May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss book giveaway is still on here]

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46 thoughts on “Veer—The Review

  1. Dude,

    There was a time when you used to write very very well. Now your articles are just getting wayyyyyy tooo long and forced. Haven’t enjoyed your feed in the past 2 months 😐

    Disappointed fan.

  2. Nice review … But I’ll never watch this movie, even if its the last movie on earth !!!

    Its not just the Hawkins ad…A few may remember Neena Gupta for her M.Phil in Sanskrit and some may remember her for being the mother of Sir Viv Richards’ daughter, Masaba (not a Sanskrit name!).

  3. Time to time, we consign ourselves to hopelessness, exclaming Bollywood is no longer what it used to be. Gone are the days of ‘Parampara’ and ‘Tehelka’. But the comes renegades like Anil Sharma whose life is all about reminding us what sort of movies we truly enjoy. Thanks Anil! Till the next big reminder.

  4. Amit, there are absolutely no spoilers here. Nothing you would not find any of the official descriptions of the movies or trailers. I am very conscious of spoilers—and anything you think gives away the plot, might be a sarcastic addition of mine.

  5. In a cartoon review of Veer by Sahil Rizwan, there is a brilliant frame where Javed Akhtar tells Salim – “My kids wrote Dil Chahta Hai, and Luck By Chance. What did your kids write?” hahahahahaha

    Veer!

  6. Truely Mediocre….I am talking about Greatbong’s review and not the movie ‘Veer’….Now why mediocre? because, of relativity..frame of reference..with respect to the your previous blogs this wasn’t ‘that’ funny. May be because the movie did not provide enough loop holes for you to exploit.Anyway it is a review, so not everytime you expect a review to be hilarious, but common dude, people come here for you amazing sense of humor..give it to them..stick to the Lohas, Gundas, Disco Dancers and the Kabhi Aage Kabhi Peeche..;-)

  7. Hi GB,

    This is a movie I’m dying to watch. Being a Die-Hard fan of both Prabhuji and Sallu Bhai, I can’t wait to watch them share screen space, and that too in a movie by Anil “Gadar” Sharma ! Epic ! Salman has returned to his Suryavanshi avatar sans Amrita Singh !

  8. Nice review. But you wrote some where that you have also watched Ishqiya lately, but now reviews for that!!!! Is it because Ishqiya did not provide you as much food for that as Veer did. Or because of Prabhuji..

  9. I watched this great epic with a friend of mine in a theatre where there were just two of us 😀 It was the height of brilliantness. We requested that there be no interval and there was none. We hooted and clapped when Sallu bhai said the appropriate lines. I squawked when Neena Gupta heaved her boobs in the face of Mithun! I squawked even more when Zarine wot’s her name did the same in Sallu’s face and why they kept focusing on her grey eyes is totally beyond me- think they were trying to show her inner beauty!

    Doston phir mulakat hogi – Sallu will return I am sure..but this definitely was a 8/10 effort from the man compared to the greatest one of all time – Suryavanshi.

  10. “Vishwas mein hi vaas hota hai vish ka”.

    BTW, GB, how do you change the pics on your blog header? Manually or is it shuffled by some app?

  11. neena is such a MILF.. Sallu is a lucky guy .. i dont think he will ever get bored of super hot katrina…its katrina who might dump him.

    why these filmy/TV guys get hot babes…even the joker rahul mahajan has bunch of hotties running after him, coz he is in media..why media guys have larger than life image..

    Someone should start a effective crash course in acting, film making etc and bring competition and quantity .are not we tired of monkeys in media and politics who get the biggest share.

  12. You sat through 3 hours of Salman, Sohail, Mithunda and Jackie Shroff? Without even a pretty heroine to distract you from the onslaught?
    GB, you are the real Veer!!

  13. What kind of asses are people like Jai_C who think this is a straight review ! ROTFL GB love it. I totally agree that Sallu is slowly becoming the new Prabhuji minus of course a resume that includes movies like Mrigaya and Tahader Katha. Wait ! Sallu Mian was in Mrigaya but of a different kind 🙂

  14. Oh…and for a ‘period’ movie this one has some big moments(other than salman wearing jeans)…..
    In the ‘dances from around world’ scene, a dancer/performer from “Czechoslovakia” is invited…..the setting is 1860s…scriptwriters, probably inspired by ad where baby almost says Czechosolovakia, forecasted the formation of the country by almost 60 years…bravo

  15. Whatever is said, this post was a bit dull.. and I am not finding great humour, repetitive humour – sort of expected.
    The originality is somewhat gone and frankly I have stopped visiting your blog; different from a few months to years ago, where I used to read your stuff religiously.
    Please don’t write to keep the fan base..It’s getting boring a bit…

  16. Contrary to all naysayers, Anil Sharma has pulled off another hit! With all the attention being paid the multiplex kids and NRIs (Non Returning Indians) someone forgot the needs of the B/C/D class markets. It has of course become even more difficult these days with the so called small towns getting hooked up big time with the big bad world – Last month in Madras (oops! Chennai) I found the buses full of young BPO types from the deepest reaches of BIMARU, struggling with Tamizh and English but having a good time. And who is the current B/C/D king after the enshrinement of MithunDa as chief mentor to the gang? Salman of course, with his rippling physique, boy-next door, bhadro’chhele looks and demeanor, Salman is bringing the crowds back by the boatload. I watched Wanted and the Telugu original as well as Tamizh remake. It is delight! Veer too mayn’t any marks for panache, but you bet it is a box office buster!

  17. aage ekta choto kotha veer kintu churanto flop hoyeche …….. maas class baans keu e ota dekhni ar dekhbe bole chinta o korche na

  18. Great bong, who is this Shaktiman, that you refer to as Salman’s co-script writer? Good review as usual. Going by the promos, Veer looks more technologically advanced than Gadar. Anil the gadar Sharma was probably waiting like Jim Cameron for technology to catch up to his larger than life imagination. In ‘Apne’ he experimented with various levels of relationships and human emotion, but it is good to see him back with this tour de force, striking right back atch ya…

  19. More than Veer…GB ka review superflop ho gaya! I think GB has lost his sense of humor and has become repetitive… time to go become some clerk in a government office!

  20. i am noticing this since few weeks that in the comment section many people say that greatbong lost his sense of humour. take a chill pill guys you can’t expect century from ponting in every match. and also it might be possible that in the begaining when you started to read RTDM you found his writing unique and full og humour and now you have become used to and also your expectation are sky rocketed. So keep your expectation a little bit low and continue to enjoy RTDM. thanxs

  21. True, I concur dj. Great bong is doing pretty good with his book and his style. Also, I think to GB it is more about the stuff that he writes about, is of interest than the presentation itself -which is outstanding too. I scour and savor exactly what is mentioned on the cover of his book on his blog. As he also points out, his blog serves to provide a forum for people, who share a common passion for B-grade movies, mithunda, Savita Bhabhi, et al. So take it easy with criticizing his posts, if they did not exactly enthrall you everytime you came looking for awesomeness.

  22. about GB loosing steam – My first on this blog was review of aapka suroor. And I got hooked. I do not think a guy reading this post would do the same (ofcourse, keeping all other parameters same 😉 )

    but then this is something all artist are accused of at some point or other.. We will know with time…

  23. I get the satirical comments but would like to point out crass, as it may be, the movie surely has got some mass appeal

  24. I love how sallu is stepping up to take the torch from prabhuji……sallu has a lot on prabhuji in terms of dance, but he doesn’t have credentials like Gunda(watched it again, i love how its called Gunda the Epic on google video)……….

  25. The resemblance of his character (the make-up part) to one of his old masterpieces, ” Suryavanshi ” is creepy.
    At least I am thankful to god this one was not ” Suryavanshi ” Part 2.
    Now you criticize, but give the man his due for not remaking that horror, though his costumes and make-up are definitely inspired from it.

  26. GB you should include the picture of your favourite, perpetually-19-Afridi biting the cricket ball. When I saw the footage of him doing so, I visualized the picture in your blog

  27. My first visit to ur blog. Am missing domino’s pizza. Its my favourite pass time. Read something great and eat something great.

    Just to tell u, th scene with 2.5 kilogram of flesh reminded me of shakesphere’s masterpiece merchant of venice and shylock shouting fr his 5 pounds of flesh. But th movie was too cool. Fun all th way. Though i tried to kill my friend who has forced me to watch it, th movie was real tear jerker.

  28. Prabhujee, thou hast let me down.

    As a lifelong Mithun devotee, I often sing bhajans that go: “Prabhujee, tum chandan…..hum paani” (set to the beat of “Pyaar bina chayn kahaan re..”).

    But nowadays, my faith is weakening. So, in a rare moment of introspection, I pause and ask myself: “What is seriously wrong these days with Mithunda a.k.a Prabhujee a.k.a Gouranga Chakroborty?” .Let me explain.

    First his son Mimoh could not live up to his God-like father’s expectations (unlike Abhishek Bachchan who somehow lived up to Amitabh’s expectations and
    married a Miss World).

    Then the God-like father Prabhu-jee ends up acting in all these “kachra” movies like “Veer” (unlike Amitabh whose ardent fans claim he never acted in any crappy movie except for Ajooba, Shahenshah, Mrityudaata, Shahenshaah, Khuda Gawah and Ganga, Jamuna, Saraswati).

    Finally, to add salt to his wounds, Prabhujee’s ancestral home gets encroached upon by other Gundas.

    Looks like this “Gunda” is not much of a “Cheetah” in real life. So, from now on, he is no longer my Prabhujee. I am going to need a new Filmi Cult God. Any suggestions?

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