Being in India out of home-base posting has been infrequent. But that does not mean I dont have things to write about. So here in a post, I jot down everything I have been wanting to say for the last few weeks in more or less an unstructured way.
Maha Hope Rahul M, as a person and as a personality, is in no ways as entertaining as Rakhi Sawant. This explains why I didnt follow the program in the US as I had done for RS ki Swayamvar. However while sporadically watching the season finale , I finally became conscious of the show’s significance in the cosmic scheme of things. As comely lasses danced in choreographed fashion to “Kabse aayi hai teri dulhe raja” type songs in a manner that could not be any more “reality” trying desperately to be the choice of a man with a liking for the “Coke side of life” once discovered alongside a dead family confidante , hailing from a family that has more skeletons in their cupboard than that would be found under the fields of Panipat, and with a, to put it politely, a dodgy history with women I came to the realization that this is not, as some feel, a new low in Indian TV history. On the contrary, this was a Coelhian message of hope and inspiration, at the same level of surreality as Jackie Shroff’s exhortation to use “Musli power” , directed at people with less-than-perfect line items in their marital resumes (like use of controlled substances, wife having “accidents riding his bike“) who despair of ensnaring a living female for the rest of their miserable lives.
Yes you can.
All you need is to get a reality show, preferably titled “Villainiya Dulhaniya Le Jayenge”. And then even a Dumpy you can have a Dimpy.
Swami Ever-Happy In the prescient movie “Teesri Aankh” Sunny Deol, who is known for exercising all muscles and glands except the lachrymal one, distraught at the proliferation of hidden cameras tearfully said “Kahaan chupayenge humare ma behenon ko?” Forget ma and behen, even our holy folk are no longer safe from the malignancy of extreme zooms. I mean here is this man, who had treated a disciple for her “wheezing problems” ( a side-effect of asthma where people find difficulty in blowing) , being given some seva (English translation: being serviced) in return for being cured (“Being true devotee, I offered my services like feeding and massaging him regularly in his room”) and this pesky camera just had to insert its telephoto lens inside this intensely spiritual bonding and give it a naughty subtext. I think Swami Every-Happy and ace politician Randy Tricycle should both do something about this menace, having fallen victims themselves in the last few months. On the subject of massages and other exercises that cause wheezing, here is a picture I took in the course of my travels in CR Park.
Sex Baba: Move over Desi Baba. The real deal is here. What I particularly liked about this fine soul is this line, in the best tradition of the Uncertainty principle: [Link] “I am 99% innocent.” , a refreshing change from the “I am 100% innocent” disingenuity one is used to hearing. Note to self: Next time wife catches me checking someone out I shall say “I am 99% innocent”. I suggest you do too.
Pakistan ban: An angry Pakistan board decided to unleash their khunnas on every major Pakistani player, an action as likely to be taken back as a Mamata Banerjee resignation. Last heard, administrative sanction was taken retro-actively by sending Inzamam to Oxford to do his PhD in post-modern literary criticism.No not to punish Inzi but to punish the British.
Book Update: Doing very well.
The Greatbong Blog & Podcast 
good read 🙂
Question: do really give ipods to the first comment? might seem like a silly question but hv seen the ipod mention too many times and my curiosity has prompted me to ask 🙂
Third….will I get something??
Finally something from you that isn’t related to your book… how long has it been !!? 2 – 3 months ?! nice …
“Swami Every-Happy”
I think it should be “Swami forever-Happy”….who wouldn’t if one can have services like that…. 😀
@ All GreatBong fans….Try and avoid buying MIHYAP through online store of Harper Collins….seems to be some problem after credit card authorization….just lost two transactions….think it is better to wait for MIHYAP to hit stores
“hailing from a family that has more skeletons in their cupboard than that would be found under the fields of Panipat”… LOL
My colleague and friend, George, approached me one morning. The following conversation ensued:
George: Rabindranath Tagore.
Me: Eh?
George: Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose
Me: Wha…?
George: All great people. Helped Bengalis create such a brilliant image in the eyes of the nation…
Me (suspiciously): Well, yeah…bu
George (cutting in): All ruined! All dashed to pieces. Rubbed into the muck…by one person!
Me: Really? WHO?
George: Dimpy Ganguly.
Me: (Speechless)!
@Shan: ROTFL
@GB: nice post (not that the book posts weren’t nice, but good to read something different once in a while too). btw, have ordered the book from Infibeam. They said they would deliver it in two days. Fingers crossed!
I liked the cure for the ‘wheezing problem’ … lol
Nice trademark Bong gender issues 😛 (e.g “RS ‘ki’ Swayamvar, Kabse ‘aayi’ hai ‘teri’ dulhe raja” 😀 Bong, great bong! 😀
Unrelated:
I pre-ordered your book on Indiaplaza.in on 3rd March and till today they haven’t even shipped it or responded to my complaints. Not a good experience.
Wrote to Indiaplaza about this.
GB,
I understand you are busy. The post is rather rushed and it is quite apparent.
However, you must somehow find time and switch over to cricket. Once in a lifetime event IPL III starts in a few days. There is not even a mention of it.
Have almost finished the book. More on it later. Have some thoughts and comments.
Really.. all these rubbish things about swayambhar.. why should we people watch someone else’s swayambhar on national television?? the last and only swayambhar which I saw in national television was of Draupadi’s in the Mahabharata in the early 90s.. :P.
And as for the Pakistani Ban, rightly said..
“an action as likely to be taken back as a Mamata Banerjee resignation”!!!!
Is it out in stores yet? Landmark? Crossword? Anywhere in Mumbai?
ssd, try flipkart. arrived in 2 days.
Now that Rahul Mahajan has taken his pick, can I have the others? I promise to be a good husband and snort coke whenever required.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/Four-play-before-climax/H1-Article3-517544.aspx
Is this the dumbest sports headline you’ve ever seen ?
Or are there worse…
I saw from some of ur posts taht u were in Delhi.. me too from delhi..
my bad I missed you
Atul
Shouldnt it had been called “Swaym-vadhu” this time? 😀
the comments are more interesting than the post! 🙂
have been reading your post quite regularly again at company’s time…nice post….”a side effect of asthama where people find difficulty in blowing”….well said and well executed 2(by baba n not u …wink)
@muktak
what in the world is a “swayamBHAR”?
Got MIHYAP by flipkart.
I have been reading your blog regularly for the last 3 years, though this is my first comment. Now that you are in Kolkata, will you a similar plan of a get together this time as well.
BTW where can I buy your book?
Good blog today.
Book is not available in Landmark Bangalore yet. Y so much delay? 😦
plz write on swami ramdev’s political initiative and gadkari’s new team…
My take on rahul mahajan… The ‘MAHAJAN-MAN’ !
http://whatthefckisgoinon.blogspot.com/2010/08/birth-of-mahajan-man.html