Bring Laloo Back

51 Comments

As the Indian Bramhanical-industrial-complex exults at the defeat of Laloo Yadav and his “Osama Bin Laden as election mascot” comrade Paswan let me say, with a loud voice, that this is all a conspiracy. Against Dalits. Against people who eat fodder. Against high-carb milk sweets. Against generous ear and nose hair. Against people who like to watch Mamta Kulkarni dance.

Voting for development? What’s wrong with you people? Voting for performance? You gotta be kidding me.

People of Bihar, you have done something really dangerous. First of all, you have not been moved by Yuvraj Gandhi’s great electoral charms and his absolute lack of opinion on anything of any importance. All this man wanted is a slight triumph and then the Padmasree-grubbing “What shall I tell them” free press could have blown it up to an extent that he appears to be Chandragupta Maurya. And you wouldn’t even give him that, after what his family did for all of us. What did you say? What did they do for us?

I…emm…ok let me think a bit.

And for my pyare Laloo-ji, fikar not. You may be down but not out. Because no politician in India, no matter how honorable, ever is. Now that you have some time away from power, partake some of your branded chocolate called Laloo Ka Khazana (not to be confused with the khazana he brings for his near and dear ones).  Enjoy with your sukhi but not chota parivaar. Spin yarns as to how you turned around the Railways to Harvard grads looking to learn about creative accounting. Watch your son Tejaswy grow in politics or next time get him into Kolkata Knight Riders, where unlike Delhi Daredevils (his old franchise) he will surely get a game. Work on mimicking Mamata Banerjee —you will fit right in with Archana Puran Singh, Sekhar Suman and Sidhu in our constellation of clowns. Enjoy your kameez-phad Holi, just make sure the coins dont fall out of your kurta.

I accept that as a Bengali, I have a vested interest in wanting Laloo-ji back. For so many years, we in our state could draw solace from the fact that we were doing better than Bihar. At least kidnapping was not a major economic activity in Bengal—that much we could be proud of. (Some would say that the reason for that is kidnapping takes planning, effort and initiative)

Whatever it be, this blasted Nitish has even taken away that comfort from us and with your dear “Puleeeeze” Railmantri Sushri Mamata-Devi coming to us as a Chief Minister, I dont think things will get any better either.

So my friends in Bihar, please get over this development bug and get back to the old caste equations please. If not for Laloo, vote for Paswan or for KRK. But please not Nitish. Cause this is making us really uncomfortable.

[Pictures courtesy Rediff, IBN and Outlook]

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51 thoughts on “Bring Laloo Back

  1. nice one, truly a scathing commentary on the shifting paradigm that is emerging in the hinterland of Bihar politics . also…. FIRST

  2. Perhaps it is time, Sonia and Rahul baba contemplate joining NDA. That is the only way they can bring some positivity back to the Congress party.

    The real surprise though, was BJP winning 90% of the seats it contested. That is a first for any political battle. Even a Narendra Modi or Shivraj Singh or Raman Singh cannot replicate that 🙂

  3. See. Now THIS is your forte! Sarcasm at it’s best! 🙂 Good One! Nitish’s resounding success is the proverbial light at the end of the dirty, dark indian political tunnel. I am just praying that it doesn’t turn out to be a freight train coming our way 😐

    @ Sunny, right on man 😀

  4. It’s pretty stupid to assume that the UPA is finished just because it’s losing in some state elections. Remember, Congress has never ruled in Bihar before so the result was not surprising. And people voted for BJP because they wanted Nitish as the PM and not Laloo. If the chief ministerial candidate had been some BJP guy, perhaps the results might have been slightly different.

    And being a CM of a state isn’t the same thing as being the PM, for which there is still no other candidate better than Dr. Manmohan Singh.

    Nice article. Laloo should have understood that no one was going to fall for his caste based politics again. 15 years is a long time for people to understand what is good and what is bad for them.

  5. Suppose I have to reply to some of the posts above, how do I do it so that my reply appears just below that post…?? You should use intensedebate for the comments section, just a suggestion of mine.

  6. Bow before the GOD of satire!

    Guess Lalu’s promise of providing bikes to students didn’t earn much approval amongst the masses.

    And Paswan definitely made gains since his last election when he won zero seats. So you can’t call it a defeat for Paswan.

  7. @Sudipto

    “And Paswan definitely made gains since his last election when he won zero seats. So you can’t call it a defeat for Paswan.”. But that was in loksabha election na. in loksabha election his party LJP lead in many assembly constituency but now ha came back to just 3. That’s quita a downfall.

  8. One among many of your classic posts.
    Those who think that the post talks about Bihar, they are getting it wrong. The subject is WB in Bihar’s context and he just had to spend 3-4 sentence and one headline to convey that. Very good!

  9. Vintage greatbong. How do you manage to get those funny images? Especially loved your comments on yuvraaj. The press goes ga-ga on him all the time. Nice to have some reality check.

    Keep up the good work

  10. Certain momentous events herald a watershed, whose full signifiance is only partially appreciated at the time. The ripple effect they initiate is silent, yet will crescendo in to a vast reverberation that channels a new course in human history.

    Like Stalingrad deciding the fate of WWII, even though the Germans continued creating havoc right until he end of 1944. Or the Berlin Wall & Glasnost culminating in the collapse of Communism. Or a small mountain rat called Shivaji crushing the clay feet to collapse the gigantic Mughal Empire.

    Perhaps the outcome of he Bihar elections is not so hallowed 🙂 Even so, they demonstrate the depth and maturity that the Indian electorate can attain to if they wish. By all accounts, Bihar should have resulted in a choc-a-bloc political logjam. Most of the people are dirt poor. The state is harshly polarised along sharp and jagged caste lines. Religion pitted against religion. Corruption rife. Criminals being juvenile in front of most politicians. A diseased police force. A state suffering from aeons of unbelievable vampirism at he likes of bloodscuckers like he Lalloos, his & hers.

    And in the backdrop, a gruellingly backward state that, with its best fineries draped, can at best be called medieval. These people are easy to manipulate, easy to buy. Lalloo his & hers + Pappoo know all the ugly tricks, Nitish & Sushil are blissfully ignorant of such machinations.

    By all means this crude unsophisticated ‘electorate’ should have delivered a disastrous result.

    They didn’t. They voted for progress with a resounding bang. Hats off to the poor man. The toiling agriculturist. The day labourer. The rickshaw puller. They delivered a result of such political and social maturity that the intellectually advanced (sic) bhadraloks of Kalkuta can only dream of.

    Shabash Bihar. May this demonstrate to the rest of a languishing India that democracy, if properly worked, can work wonders.

    The extent of victory is best demonstrated by the audacious degree of lies posing as half-lies the opponents have to stoop to hide the level of catastrophe. And thus the idiocy displayed by the giggling media-monkeys. Thus the BBC electing to blank the news in its coverage, when a possibly doctored photo of a turd in a Commonwealth Village toilet was given front coverage news. And the Indian media monkeys revelling in the fact that somehow Nitish’s victory is actually Modi’s defeat. How does that work?

    Oh yes. Like Goebbels claiming that the vast losses on the Eastern Front were good for Germany, since they could consolidate in a far more strategically advantageous front. Such ganji-induced pipe-dreams passing as strategy never materialised.

    And thus I believe that however high media monkeys are jumping up and down, the Bihar election is a watershed in Indian history. This is not the sophisticated middle classes who have voted for progress. But the economically, socially and even intellectually (sic) backward, manipulatable dirt poor who have caught on to the game.

    The erstwhile silent ramifications for India’s progress, Hindutva i.e nationalism (is there any other type of nationalism?), India’s defence, and India’s future, are mammoth.

  11. Kudos to the people of Bihar .. just hope that with 3/4th majority and a weak and divided opposition does not breed complacency…

    @GB- sir whats the secret behind your such an awesome sense of humour and sarcasm? 🙂

  12. @HHBM

    Sir,

    As much as I am a fan of GB, I luv and enjoy reading both Rishi Khujur’s and ur comments.
    Having said that, aren’t we reading too much into Lalloo’s decimation. Inspite of very low number of seats (less than 10%), they still command about 25% vote share. From a first past the post system point of view, it was a huge loss for Lalloo and RJD. But can we say that he was totally rejected. I think his base is very much intact.

    Ur’s, RK’s and GB’s thought on this please.

  13. The dig on bengalis was direct and very true. I am a bengali who was born and brought up in Bihar. Nitish is about to take away the only consolation (bihar is worse than bengal) that we bengalis have for our sad political and economical situation. When are we going to have a leader like Nitish Kumar? Are we doomed to be ruled by clowns like didi and dadas of the present lot? I continue to grieve for my dear bengal!

  14. @ anonymous
    It would be wrong to say- Laloo is done. No politician in India is done, until Prakruti forced them on a khatiya or Yama invites them to his transition home.

    But vote share notwithstanding, the results do reflect a watershed in Bihar politics and it remains to be seen whether that is a generational one or a electoral one.

    @ Pratik
    “Are we doomed to be ruled by clowns like didi and dadas of the present lot? I continue to grieve for my dear bengal!”

    Bengal is paying the price of its ideologically juvenility since 1946. What we see in Bengal today is the fruits of 30 years of self- delusional, self-destructive caricature of pseudo-secular politics that has resulted in such a massive misappropriation of resources, that it has become almost impossible for Bengal to regain back its pre Partition strength.

    I am sorry to say, we Bengalis are as much to blame as those who
    represent(ed) us.

  15. I would like to congratulate people of Bihar for making “VIKAS” as their choice.

    It seems everybody stunned by victory % , but many biharis were telling from months that this is going to happen.

    Some of my friends also said they are first time seeing some development work in Bihar.

    Best Luck !!!

  16. Though things seems to have really changed in Bihar in last years, Bengal should be still ahead at present. How ironic that once the most developed regions are now competing to become at least the second worst.

  17. Ramification of 2G scam
    Rats fleeing the ships.
    Looks like Uninor has given pink slip to more than 200 employees in Orissa itself. Is it anticipating penal action ?

  18. Those who have not been to a village in Bihar during Lalu’s time can probably not fathom the extent of decay during those times.
    I visited on village in 2002 and came to know that even vegetable vendors were having their children kidnapped. For what?? 100 or 200 rupees.

    Being a ‘dabang’ was the best thing to do and was looked upon with a lot of respect by small kids. I talked to students of school and they told me that in case they can’t clear IIT/REC or be an IAS/PSC officer, they would prefer to become someone like Shahabuddin of Siwan. Class 6th and 7th students told this and around 40-50 from three different schools.

    Once Nitish came to power, I again visited those villages. Only two things had changed. The talk of how goons were being thrashed by Police and the 50% reservation for women in recruitment to all primary schools. Almost all villages got one female teacher (though for each appointment, the Sarpanch took 80,000 rupees). Everything else was same, but these two things got a lot of hope in peoplein those two-three villages I toured.

    The slap on Lalu and Congress can surprise the Barkhagate kind of Delhi based journalists and the few Marathi supporters of Raj Thakeray who need people from other states only to die in security operations during terrorist attacks, but not to earn a living there.

    Being a Bihari, for the first time I can look at Bengal with my pity directed outwards. Being an Indian, I can tell you that it’s a mixed feeling.

  19. Hey GB whats happening on wikileaks front. Whats the impact. Media in India will as usual ignore this and concentrate of movie stars and fake reality shows.
    Can we expect a detailed analysis from you. Pliss.

  20. Hi, Are you writing anything on Barkhagate? Waiting for your take on the tapes as well as the criminal silence of mainstream media outlets.

  21. Yourfan2,
    Many thanks for your nice comments.

    Anonymous,
    When you asked me for a deeper analysis of Bihar results. I posted that over a week back. On checking RTDM today, I see it has not appeared, so I repost it.

    SYNOPSIS
    No politician ever dies, as proved by the massive and bizarre resurrection of Trinamool Congress (TMC) in Bengal. Bizarre, since by logic, the CPM’s progress agenda should have trounced the TMC’s anti-economy, anti-state, anti-Indian pro-Maoist policies. Yet this is not the case.

    Why? I think it’s because anti-incumbency is so rife in East India, that the electorate is only interested in punishing CPM for failing to ensure ‘perfect’ peace & prosperity at an ‘individual’ level, even though CPM’s recent sincere efforts are evident at a ‘collective’ level. Voters are more interested in meting knee-jerk retribution rather than waiting to castigate the true culprits, the TMC.

    Which brings us to Bihar, where unique things have happened. Lalloo has lost not only seats, but 25% of his vote share. His electorate is exclusively caste-focused, & since the caste equation has not changed, his vote-share should not change. Yet it did, and massively so.

    And still Nitish-BJP has won. Not only by a sweep of seats, but a steady increase of vote-share as well, recording an 8% rise for the BJP- JDU combine. And Lalloo has lost 25% vote-share. LJP 35%. In spite of anti-incumbency. In spite of Lalloo-Paswan trying every dirty trick in the book. And that’s what’s remarkable.

    .1. NO POLITICIAN EVER DIES
    The best proof that death in politics can never be taken for granted is Mamata Banerjee & her Trinamool Congress (TMC). In the 2006 West Bengal Assembly Elections, the drubbing she received was so overwhelming and complete, that any sane person would have slunk away after buying a one-way Antim Ganga Yatra ticket.

    The TMC received 30 seats, yes, just 30, to the CPM’s gigantic 179. Even fecho auxiliaries of the CPM received nearly as much votes as the core TMC … the RSP and Forward Block got 20 and 23 seats each.

    In total, the Left combine won 233 seats (50% vote-share), a depleted Congress 24 seats (16% vote-share) & TMC 30 seats (30% vote-share). Independents won 6 seats (6% vote share).

    Victory complete. Victory unassailable.

    And in 5 years, from the ashes of bitter defeat the TMC has arisen, phoenix-like, to an expected near certain victory in the coming 2011 elections. So no politician ever dies. Even in death. Gandhi and Nehru’s hideous spectres continue haunting us to this day !!

    .2. SO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
    Buddhadeb’s liberal measures have configured the best financial backdrop the state has enjoyed since Bidhan Ray. It is true that the CPM has perpetrated brutality and economic chaos for 35 years. It is ture their red flags are dyed in the blood of innocents. Yet this pales against the cold-blooded, systematic, anti-national vicious terror unleashed by the murderous Maoists, those close brothers of Mamata.

    From that viewpoint, the CPM has, at least recently, proven to be a far more beneficial pontiff than Mamata. Yet why has Matadi’s sun managed to eclipse the red crescent? I believe it is due to massive anti-incumbency. The CPM has proved incapable of fending off either Mamata’s reign of terror or her wily machinations. The CPM has tried. Sincerely. And partially succeeded. Yet they have failed to convert that to individual peace and guaranteed security. And that is one of the reasons the frustrated public are punishing them.

    Castigating Rama for losing Sita, rather than Ravana for kidnapping her.

    .3 NITISH’S DRAWBACKs
    Thinking about it, Nitish’s path was blocked by every conceivable obstacle. Like WB, rampant anti-incumbency should have been evident in Bihar too, especially since all the benefits of the Nitish-BJP’s measures are yet to cascade down to all sectors of the electorate.

    Lal-Pal (Lalloo-Paswan) tried every dirty trick in the book, calling Nitish a puppet of communal forces, calling the BJP a casteist Brahminical force. The electorate relish such spicy invectives. Nitish’s response was constrained to the narrow confines of progress. Such masala-less blandness is highly unlikely to appeal to voters. Yet Nitish did it because he believed in it. And he won.
    The anti-national role of the media, now partially exposed at tactical level, is likely to have gone on overdrive in working frenziedly against Nitish. And still Nitish won.

    Further, Lal-Pal’s electorate is not exactly renowned for voting after rigorous intellectual ratiocination. The impression from news coverage is that they are a caste-bound, ignorant peoples, restricted to the rubicon of their villages.

    As such, caste loyalties are far stronger to them than recorded socio-economic progress, and since the caste equation has not changed, their voting pattern would remain the same. Whereas the NDA camp would include highly capricious, middle-class voters, known to be prone to anti-incumbency tendencies. And still Nitish won.

    And the full effect of Nitish’s policy are yet to bear fruit. An inter-connected state, where human resources, goods and commodities can be moved must faster than before, will have a massivemultiplier effect at the macro-level in a few years, translating into a huge micro-economic benefits soon after. This has not yet transpired fully.

    And still Nitish won.

    .4 AND WHAT WERE THE RESULTS
    Seats have registered a tsunami shift to Nitish-BJP. By seats, the 2010 results vs 2005 (brackets), are :

    JDU: 115 (88) – 31% rise; BJP: 91 (55) – 65% rise; Combined 206 (143) – 44% rise
    RJD: 22 (54) – 59% FALL; LJP: 3 (10) – 70% fall; Combined 25 (64) – 61% fall

    By vote-share, the results are not as jaw-gapingly spectacular as seats, yet the exodus has nevertheless been remarkable. Rounded to nearest 0.5%, shares in 2010 vs 2005 (brackets) are:

    JDU: 22.5% (20.5%) – 10% rise; BJP: 16.5% (15.5%) – 6% rise; Combined 39% (36%) – 8%% rise
    RJD: 23.5% (19.0%) – 19% FALL; LJP: 7% (11%) – 36% fall; Combined 26.0% (34.5%) – 25% fall

    One point to mention, the results are skewed by independents. In 2010, non-NDA / UPA / Lal-Pal parties (like CPM, independents etc) won 8 seats, yet in 2005, they won 27, so there has been a massive shift away from them. These are hard-core CPM, Communist et all anti-national forces, and their voters are likely to have moved to political persuasions of identical hue, like the Lal-Pal camp. My hypothesis is that their base has shifted ‘to’ the Lal-Pal camp. So Lal-Pal’s defeat would have been larger had there had been no haemorrhaging of independents.

    A 39% vote share for NDA is impressive. In the 2009 Lok Sabha elections, the Congress got 29.5%, while their coalition sailed through with 37.5%. Bihar’s results trump that. Further, the ‘jaws of difference’ between the parties was 1.5% in 2005 (36% – 34.5%). In 2010, the jaws have awned to 13% (39% -26%).

    Whichever way it is looked at, it is a massive gain for the NDA, and a massive fall for Lal-Pal.

    .5 CONCLUSION – MASTERCHEF BIHAR
    The cards were stacked against Nitish. Anti-incumbency, Nitish focusing on presenting development alone while Lalloo appealed to more colourful and base human instincts. The anti-national media lobby shrilly trumpeted Lalloo while wilfully silencing Nitish.

    As if Nitish cooked a bland dal-bhat on Masterchef Bihar. The cameras portrayed him in black and white (more black than white). And his voters were lazy and did not all take care to press the button.

    While Lalloo was cheered on by his dedicated loyal hordes, who would fanatically vote for him. The media covered him in digitally mastered color HD, and he cooked a lip-smacking chaat masala.

    And still Nitish-BJP won.

  22. Greatbong, I just saw the above article in some Kalpana Laishram’s note in Facebook. Its reproduced verbatim !! Thought I need to inform you, just in case

  23. Dear Biplab,

    Are you saying I’m being quoted word for word by Tehelka? Haha. I must be rising in the world.

    In eagerness I rushed to the Tehelka facebook site, but was very disappointed as I could not see anything.

    Please provide the source.

    In fact I submitted something very similar to this 10 days ago on RTDM, but it did not appear. Perhaps GB can confirm?

  24. Sorry Biplab. Wrong reference to Tehelka … a friend just called to mention that an article of mine had been quoted on the Tehelka facebook, & I mixed up the wires.

    Saying that, my query still stands. Are you referring to GB’s article or mine when you say it appears on on Kalpana’s facebook? If mine, have you checked the date & time to ascertain whether it appeared first on RTDM?

    Also if mine, if this is a feeble attempt to get me to divulge my facebook account and subsequent e-mail account by rushing to Kalpana’s site in seething indignation and curiosity, it won’t succeed. I will check Kalpana’s site, but not under my proper name, and in my own time.

    I assure you Debubabu, I will get to the bottom of this. Guaranteed.

  25. DM, why don’t you await Biplab’s response before reaching any conclusion?

    Perhaps you could visit Kalpana Laishram’s facebook site to cjeck the date / timing, & give us your finding? I am not rushing to do so, as there is a facebook facility to determine who has visited a profile, & I don’t want to give myself away.

    However, you should have no qualms; your conscience is clear. After all, you are pro-Hindu, but not a ‘fanatic’. So like Nehru, you should have nothing to fear.

    Give us your response. I ascertain that in all of my posts, every thought, every word, every sentiment, every punctuation mark is mine. Andf mine alone.

  26. @H2B2,

    “a facebook facility to determine who has visited a profile,”

    NO THERE IS NOT ! You plagiarize as well as you lie. Both very badly. Your plagiarism was caught before on this blog I remember: or was it your namesake Hujur’s?

  27. @H2B2,

    “So like Nehru, you should have nothing to fear.”

    But you do have a LOT to fear ! Afraid your employers will find out you are a right-wing numbnut who supports the subjugation of women?

    BTW am not DM.

  28. Hi Anonymous,

    @ ‘there is a facebook facility to determine who has visited a profile – NO THERE IS NOT !’

    You may want to try http://www.facebook.com/l/54bcc;fbnewtheme.blogspot.com

    @ ‘You plagiarize as well as you lie’

    You need to prove that, old bean. With just one example. Go on, oblige.

    Biplab has arguably made an allegation (?) I have asked him to prove it. I have also asked GB to confirm that I had posted this nearly 10 days ago. Should we not wait to see if they oblige?

    This will be fairly easy to prove. Either it appears on Kalpana Laishrams facebook. Or it doesn’t. It is either posted BEFORE my post on RTDM, or it doesn’t. I have said it doesn’t. It CANNOT.

    This is not a complex issue to prove, like the question ‘Is Hinduism the greatest religion on earth’. It is fairly black and white, like ‘is terror the key facet of Islam?’ Very easy to determine.

    I have thrown the gauntlet. Pick it up. Otherwise it will be evident that in addition to being internet-ignorangt, you are also a fool. Anonymous or otherwise.

    @ ‘Your plagiarism was caught before on this blog I remember: or was it your namesake Hujur’s?

    So was it me? Or Hujur? Or both? Or neither? You said ‘I remember’. It looks like you don’t. Which comment was it on? Methinks you are a liar.

    @ ‘Afraid your employers will find out you are a right-wing numbnut who supports the subjugation of women’?

    What makes you think I am posting from my employers and not an internet cafe? Or my home? Or my cousin’s place? Or from Singapore airport?

    Why are my nuts necessarily numb? They were quite alive yesterday when they had to be employed!! Hahaha.

    And why do I support subjugation of women? All I said was that one look at your wife’s visage was as effective as ten large helpings of isabgol. That makes me an aesthete. Not a misogynist.

    @ ‘BTW I am not DM’
    Lucky DM.

  29. @H2B2

    I think Biplab was referring to GB’s article and not your comment. There are many examples of FB users reproducing GBs tweets and posts verbatim on their wall posts/notes.

    we all love yours and Rishi Khujur’s comments on this blog. Very informative and to the point. Thanks so much.

  30. Ok Anurag, thanks.

    It would have been nice if Biplab had articulated his comment better. Many of GB’s articles are referred to on facebook pages. Thus it is not that often that people specifically inform GB that a particular article of his is appearing on the facebook page of so & so. Thus the heightened scope of misinterpretation, & thus my request for clarification on this.

    As you can see, at least 2 people, DM & Anonymous above, (mental deficient as they are), have drawn wrong conclusions from Biplab’s none-too-tight terminology.

    Anyway, hope you liked my comment on the battler for Bihar.

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