A Travesty

Bhai is innocent. Bhai roxx.

It’s not sunk in for me yet. A movie that began with a hit and ran for thirteen years has finally come to an end and I can’t believe how that climax played out.

First of all, Bhai was not driving the car.  He said so. He also said he is a virgin. I mean come on.

Second, he was not drunk. His blood just turned into alcohol. Or as it was explained by a forensic expert “Sharaab aur khoon main apni marzi se peeta hoon…dabake” (Wanted, 2009)

Dabake dabangg dabangg dabangg….

Third, his driver was driving his car. He said so himself. I mean isn’t that obvious? Driver…driving…car. And if it wasn’t him, and I am not disputing what the court said because I fully respect the law, it could have been any one else.

Raina’s nephew. Kambli’s friend. Hindu patriarchy. Maoists. Media saazish. Sab mile hue hai. Amit Shah.

I don’t know. But definitely not Bhai.

Even if we assume, for argument’s sake, and I am not saying that happened, it was Bhai behind the wheel, it was an accident. I mean Raveena-ji thinks so.

Or to paraphrase, “Naheen tera koi dosh dosh madhosh hai tu har waqt waqt”. Someone must have accidentally put alcohol down Bhai’s stomach and then he accidentally ran over someone. Accidents happen. Man.

Not that I, for a moment think he was driving or was drunk. Not at all.

And what about the victims? Aren’t they responsible for their fate?

[Screenshot because original tweet was deleted]


I mean if you sleep on the road like a dog, you deserve to die like a dog. Even though Abhijeet sang “Kitna pyara hai sama” for a film called Footpath, he knows never to take stuff he sings literally. Now if everyone showed this level of class and common sense, people would not be calling Atif Aslam to do playback here.




I don’t know about you, but for me Bhai is the  living embodiment of the king I used to read about in fairy tales. A man with a big heart, who once he makes a commitment does not even listen to himself, kind, just, generous,  sweeping away beautiful damsels with his princely charm, brave, regal, handsome. When you read about such kings in those illustrated fairy tales, do you ask whether that deer he has just hunted belongs to a protected species or what his blood alcohol concentration is when he is riding his steed at break neck speed or when his stallion rises up on its rear legs, ready to charge, whether there is someone lying there below his hooves?

No you don’t. But being hypocrites, you do it for Bhai. You don’t care for his big heart, or his generosity, or his overall awesomeness. You hold him up to the same standards as you do for other human beings, those that never spend a paisa on charity, and you totally overlook those people who carelessly,  of their own free will, sleep in places where they may inconvenience him.

You guys don’t deserve Bhai. Truly you people don’t.


14 thoughts on “A Travesty

  1. The trend here is to ask for an IPad, right? Anyways, brilliant satirical piece.

  2. The rumoured iPad mini 4…O yeaaahh..

  3. Salman Khan did not have a driving licence – how come all these apologists for him seem to brush that fact away? Or that he had been drinking? Or that he tried to subvert the course of justice by having his employee give false evidence that he was driving the car? As far as I know, perjury is also a crime.
    Fair enough that Salman does not need to be made an example of but also he should get his fair punishment. Maybe instead of trying to tie up the courts for over 10 years, Salman khan had accepted blame (mistakes do happen, he is after all human) and made amends by helping out the injured and family of the person killed then maybe he could be given some leeway.

    on the bright side, we will be spared another Dabangg or Wanted for some time!!

  4. Loved the satire. Everyone respects judiciary but bhai couldn’t have done it

  5. The TOI blog said it the best. Would the industry and hanger on’s have reacted in such a way had Bhai ran over somebody prominent from the industry? As Rishi Kapoor mentioned on Twitter most of the people backing Bhai and blatantly saying stuff like “regardless of the law” are Bhai’s hanger-ons. This is a group of untalented people who are there in the industry and continue to make (whatever measly amount) money from the industry solely because of Bhai’s clout. That one phone call. This is the charity they are talking about when they mention Bhai’s good deeds. The list did not begin with Himesh and did not does not end with Ejaz. Very rarely does someone who has been a target of his charity get a spine, speak for himself and get away from him and at great cost (Himesh). He was the first to mention after the fight with SRK that SRK once lived in his house when he was new in Mumbai. What this means is that Bhai craves power over his subjects and when they get any smarter Bhai reacts terribly. I hope he spends 10 years in jail. Kudos to the judge for doing his job. That in itself is a huge thing to cheer about. Also this silences the paid trolls who commented that Bhai would get away because of a wink-wink pre-election deal with you-know-who. Spare a moment for Ravindra Patil. You Sir are what being human means. Bhai’s charity by that name is nothing but a PR exercise which surprisingly has lots of gullible idiots falling for it.

  6. The irony is that if he had just copped to the “mistake” 12 years back, he’d have probably have gotten away with a lighter punishment. 12 years back, the drunk driving law was nowhere as strict, and driving without a license would have added a Rs.100 fine to his conviction. I reckon if he had confessed then he’d have got 6 months at most, maybe even probation. Plus compensation of 50k each to the injured and maybe a lakh to the family of the dead chap.

    But he decided to brazen it out, and in the interim the DUI laws got strenthened, and Alistair Pereira, and Nooria Haweliwala happened. And Bhai got screwed. So maybe the desserts are just BECAUSE the judgment happened 12 years later!

  7. Jolly LLB in real life…

    Why so much fuss about someone from the film industry being jailed for a misdeed….??
    and Abhijeet …you lost all respect…..were you drunk when you tweeted…btw….footpath gadi chalane ke lie v nahi hota …

  8. ” Or to paraphrase, “Naheen tera koi dosh dosh madhosh hai tu har waqt waqt”. ”
    Hahaha….that was Hilarious!

  9. Bigg Boss chahte hein ki GB turant confession room me aayein.

  10. ”Or to paraphrase, “Naheen tera koi dosh dosh madhosh hai tu har waqt waqt”! 😀 😀 Brilliant!!

  11. Debasish Choudhury May 8, 2015 — 6:50 am

    Nicely written. I have come across too many “Bhai is innocent” rantings in the past few days.

  12. Seen Piku? Review please.

  13. I thought you were smart. I stupid.

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