A strong north-westerly breeze is blowing at a certain velocity. Two helicopters are approaching each other in 3 dimensional space with their trajectories being determined by a time and location dependant non-linear function. A person in one of those helicopters shoots a bullet whose trajectory is defined by another non-linear function. Considering the composition of all these forces, what is the probability that the bullet hits the stomach of a person in the other helicopter? Point to remember: the shooter is not a sniper but a criminal profiler.
Fanaa is all about coincidences, improbable events and way-out absurdities (like a terrorist organization which targets BOTH Pakistan and India). You are not only asked to suspend disbelief but to tear it to shreds. I understand that plot holes are inevitable in even good movies: after all they are not mathematical proofs. However some kind of plausibility is essential for a movie to make an impact. Not so Fanaa whose plot itself is a hole: and a big gaping one at that. (I cannot go into the logical howlers in any detail without dishing out serious spoilers)
Which is a pity. Because Fanaa has a lot going for it—least of which is the hype and the dream pairing. But there are just way too many times in the story when even the most brain-dead of us have to chuckle to ourselves and whisper “Kya bakwaas”. As a result, it becomes totally impossible to consider Fanaa as anything but yet another disappointing offering from the Yash Chopra house of production line cinema.
However make no mistake—this is nothing like Veer Zara–an unmitigated disaster from start to finish with nary a redeeming feature (except the music).
With a tighter script, shorter running time and a more coherent storyline, Fanaa could have been a critical winner.
It is technically superb (a breath-taking James Bond inspired chase through the icy mountains—a welcome change from Yashraj’s trademarked chiffoned ladies in snowy climes), has excellent performances from Kajol (who looks slimmer than she ever looked before), Aamir Khan (though age is now telling on him) and even Rishi Kapoor, (who looks exactly like the washed-out, uber-romantic dipsomaniac he plays on screen) and an engaging first half with cheesy shayris, gentle humor and a very bold statement of female sexuality that I have not seen often in mainstream Hindi movies (and again I desist from discussing this more fully here because this, to me, was the biggest surprise of the movie and I want to keep it that way for you too).
But then political correctness, international intrigue and “epic” tragedy enter into the mix, Kunal Kohli is found wanting in depth and the story is found wanting in logical coherence. And so Fanaa goes south despite the best efforts of Kajol and Aamir Khan, the finest commercial movie actors of their generation, to keep it afloat (They still do manage to give us some excellent, albeit fleetingly brief “moments” of good cinema).
Verdict: Starts engagingly enough but ends a big disappointment.
[Postscript: And lest I forget, that Bobo lady (the heroine’s friend) who it seems everyone is ooh-ing and aah-ing about was IMHO extremely unremarkable—one of those endless, brainless music video hotties who vanish from public memory before you can say “Dodo”.
Which is good since the distinction still stands. For at least one more movie.
The hottest sidekick in Yashrajland is Karan Johar from DDLJ.
I can sleep in peace.]