As the impasse in the Middle East continues with Israel responding to acts of terror committed by Islamic Jihadists with unimaginably brutal force setting into a motion a swirling vortex of punch and counterpunch that has shocked the world with its virulence, the question that is uppermost in our minds is ‘How do we stop the madmen, how do we bring about a resolution’?
One approach that has been tried, without much success we may add, has been to try soothe the savage beasts with offers of carnal pleasure. Cicciolina, 55 year old, Hungarian-born ex-pornstar and Italian politician promised to sleep with Saddam Hussein in 2000 and 2002 and with Osama Bin Laden in 2006 in exchange for a commitment to renounce terrorism and violence.
Speaking at an erotic fair in Bucharest, Romania, Cicciolina said: “It is time someone did something about Bin Laden, and I am ready to do it.
“I am ready to make a deal, he can have me in exchange for an end to his tyranny. My breasts have only ever helped people while Bin Laden has killed thousands of innocent victims.” [Source]
Since not much came of these offers (some people do prefer virgins in the afterlife to hand-me-downs in real life), we can presume that it would be a waste of time in making a similar offer to Hassan Nasrallah, the head of Hezbollah.
Because renunciation of violence is impossible, Israel is trying the next best thing. Namely sealing its defence systems against rockets being fired by Hezbollah rocket launchers across from the bay into Haifa thus dropping civilian casualties inside Israel to zero.
Yogic flyers (link courtesy: S. Pyne) using transcendental meditation techniques will create a force shield against Katyusha rockets.
In an interview from the Nof Ginnosar Hotel near Tiberias on Saturday, the Prime Minister of the Peace Government of Israel and Yogic Flyer Alex Kutai called on the elected Israeli government to recruit a group of 265 Yogic Flyers who, through an advanced technique of Transcendental Meditation (TM), he asserted, would create a shield of invincibility around Israel and bring about an immediate cessation of violence with the Hizbullah.
Prime Minister Kutai, who is also the Chairman of the International Transcendental Meditation Society in Israel, said his elected counterpart Ehud Olmert had to urgently find a group of 265 people trained in the TM technique and maintain them in one location where they can generate an invincibility shield around Israel against all forms of war and violence, including road accidents, and keep the shield up permanently.
“Ten days before this latest round of violence broke out between Israel and the Hizbullah, we received an urgent message from the headquarters of the Global Government of World Peace that there was an immediate danger of violence in the region, and that each country had to mobilize its Yogic Flyers – those who practice the TM technique – to ward off the danger,” Kutai said earnestly.
According to Kutai, the Yogic Flyer practices an advanced meditation technique in which his or her consciousness is brought to a level where thinking is without content, where the Flyer connects with the “source of all energy and intelligence – beyond any thought and at the same time the source of all thought.” Kutai said this state is what physicists call the United Field of the Laws of Nature. [More here]
The problem is that they have only 30 such trained TM-ists and need 235 more since 265 is the number of TM-ists needed to sustain the shield (according to their empirico-theoretical studies).
And since the characteristic of an Yogic Flyer is one whose “thinking is without content”, I presume any 235 bloggers would suffice.
While 265 may suffice to keep the small state of Israel impregnable to attacks, there is no way this method would work for India. And yet India is so much like Israel, surrounded by hostile neighbours and engaged in fighting a proxy war with Pakistan, a nation that keeps on pushing in agents of terror into India and then acting innocent.
Well there is a solution for Pakistan too and it is so horrific that it will make even the most hawkish among us cringe. And it has been revealed by a mole in the upper echelons of the government through a posting on rediff message boards (link courtesy: Shankar Seal) when rediff asked readers how India should react to Pakistan-sponsored terrorism, post Mumbai blasts.
The suggested solution is based on obtaining lasting peace by total annihilation of the enemy without any casualties being sustained.
The only thing 2teach pakistan lesson is not war,nuthing.It reminds me one of leader saying long years back.if u strt war,they wil retaliate,again many innocent ppl will loose life.so the best thing is let millions of indian ppl gather at indo-pak border wher the jhelum river flows.
As the only source of water 2 pak, all of us including small children,men,women start urinating in river.do this act for month or so.how many times will they purify the water?the result is not a single Indian dies bcz no war.
And in Pakistan,the ppl will die of thirst.whn we have food,v do require water 2drink. What if we make them die of thirst??let they realize wht it happns whn they use 2kill innocent ppl.If u can kill us this way,we know other alternatives.I know im talking sumthing weird, but think the other way.If war happens,our brave soldiers,innocent ppl like us only will die and our economy will affect.No use going 4war.For eg,a human urinates 2or 3times max.if continued for a month=2*30=60/month/person.calculate wit million ppl.I CAN C END OF PAKISTAN.
Stinkingly pure, evil genius. Takes my breath away.
As we can see, so many solutions available to conclusively end conflicts and yet the Neanderthals keep on fighting wars “the old way”.
When will they ever learn?