The Greatbong Fashion Line

68 Comments

Inspired by Frans Johansson’s “The Medici Effect” with its theme of how innovation can be made to happen by mixing disparate cultural influences in unusual ways, I have decided to unleash the Greatbong signature line of clothing, a heady cocktail of Mithunism, voodoo art, intellectual bankruptcy and the desire to make a buck.

Frankly the need to get into the garment design industry is something I have felt for long—the world desperately craves for a line of fashion that appeals to an alternate aesthetic, apparel that pokes you in the eye with a statement, a collection of garments that cry out “This IS me”, a force of nature that does to the “Gandhi” penstroke and the Che-Bob Marley T-shirt design what Attila the Hun did to the Roman Empre.


Let us look at the first design. It has a picture of the legendary “Bulla”, the villain-in-chief of “Gunda”, the iconic celluloid classic from the beautiful minds of Bashir Babbar and Kanti Shah. The picture is framed on top by a part of his motto: “Mera naam hain Bulla, Rakhta Hoon Main Khulla”. In keeping with the theme of this fashion line, the design expresses our inner need for open-ness, a desire to be honest about ourselves, to unconstrain our menitalia (mental genitalia) from the confines of cultural and societal underwear with its constricting seams of tradition.


Don’t you feel there is a lot of pent-up anger in the world? Rude people in the streets, ugly trolls on the blog and mad terrorists who want to blow up everyone? And haven’t you wondered “Why so much anger?” Which deep well of dissatisfaction does all this hate come from?

Well that feeling is articulated perfectly in our next design : the Chutiya shirt. (Movie-goers will remember the character Chutiya, the murderous hermaphrodite from Gunda, who takes “London ki goli” to pep up his sex life and who is ultimately castrated by Mithun-da in a toilet). In it, we have a question that Chutiya posed to an angry policeman: “Subah Mirchi Ka Achar Khaya Tha Kya?” (Did you have a paste of hot chillies in the morning?) with the aim being to understand his cause of irritation. In the same vein, if you wear this Tshirt in front of an angry person (and there are many of them), I am sure that the message will make him/her think—-why am I angry? Obviously I did not have chilli paste for breakfast. So could it be possible that I have anger issues and the world isn’t as bad as I assume it to be?

Nobel peace prize anyone?


Let’s face it. All of us have had issues with our parents, all of us have felt the urge to rebel, to break free of the rigid rules laid down by Dad, to emerge as our man/woman. To forge our own path, on the strength of who we are….not who my father is. An attitude that is exemplified by the Rahul Gandhis, the Anil Ambanis, the Rahul Mahajans and the Puru Rajkumars of the world.

For these rebels with a cause, I present the “Pote” Tshirt, which fits into the larger “freedom” theme of my clothing line. Pote is Bulla’s best friend in the movie “Gunda”—a man who follows the dictum “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”. Which is why he utters the immortal line : ” Mera naam Pote, Jo Aapne Baap Ke Bhi Naheen Hote”. This T-shirt is our tribute to that attitude of rebellion, a fire that we see burning in so many fine men and women.


The next T-shirt is a little bit naughty. But still it is all about the attitude. And freedom. Freedom from being lonely and single. Indian men have always been at a disadvantage when it comes to approaching women—-we just do not seem to have good pickup lines. So here is one from the voice of the handsome Ibu Hatela: ” Ma meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitan ka chela, khayega kela?” As an expert in the art of seduction, let me tell my prospective buyers that women just love bad overweight boys who get to the point, without beating about the bush—which is why the bare-torsoed picture of Ibu Hatela from ‘Gunda’ with the smashing proposal will make the ladies go weak in the knees. And for those behenji-s who will retort with the age-old “Ghar main ma behen naheen hain” you have already pre-emptively answered the question by citing your antecedents ! Genius isnt it?

Caveat: Don’t expect to wear this Tshirt for long, it will be ripped to shreds before you realize it.

Lest people think, we have only T-shirts, let me mention that we have also designed innerwear with Mithun’da’s immortal “Do char chaaye aath dus….Bus” printed on it and many other assorted items that are currently pending patent.

So what are you waiting for? Our trained representatives are waiting for your call.

And remember if you give the customer representative the following promotional sentence [which I picked up in an Orkut group]

Jis toofan main dushamanon ke hosh urh jaate hain,
Us toofan main hum chaddi sukhaate hain

you will get 10% off your order.

Fashion will never be the same again.

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68 thoughts on “The Greatbong Fashion Line

  1. LOL! Awesome post.

    One idea: Maybe the writings should be in Hindi. Mass audience. 🙂

    Also, please one design with the important cast of ‘Gunda’ (all in one please).

  2. he he.. Found these two lines the best:
    1.menitalia (mental genitalia)
    2.Jis toofan main dushamanon ke hosh urh jaate hain,
    Us toofan main hum chaddi sukhaate hain!

    Fuck! the second line is just brilliant! I wonder how noone used it in my college Mad-ads..
    🙂

  3. Hey Great Bong,

    chanced upon ur blog about a month ago and i am kinda getting addicted …right now i am struggling to keep a straight face sitting inside my cubicle. hope no one peeks in!!!

    Today is Diwali and I am at work 😦 Boss did not sanction leave coz I had to be present for an important discussion this morning. Now, that work is completed (successfully, i shud add) & I am killing my time cursing the company and boss… ur post has made my wait (my flight is at 4pm) much easier.
    To say that u write owesome stuff would be the understatement of the year…i am not so eloquent with words….keep entertaining/stimulating/inspiring lesser mortals like me with your posts

  4. Please sample this dialogue from Loha (or some other movie…not sure)

    Villain 1 (after achieving a moral victory over Villain 2) : Tere chaddi ka naada khul gaya naa??
    Villain 2: Hum chaddi nahin, elastic waala underwear pehente hain….kabhi khulta nahi!!!

  5. Dear Most Exalted GreatBong

    I anoint you with the Order of Most Venerated Son of Bengal [Other winners: Our answer to Arnold Sauce-Vinegar and Steven Seagal, Mithun-da (alias Prabhuji)]

    Your fashion is like a breath of phenyle-induced fresh air in a public lavatory. And the thinking behind each creation is rich with innuendo like a Bappi Lahiri song. Eg, Ramba Ho, Gutur gutur.

    I can see Rina Dhaka running for cover in dusty bylanes of MG Road. I can see Sabyasachi willing to give both his hands for a look. As for Giorgio Armani, I sympathise his reaction to the collection as he takes out a morcha against you in the Milan streets, shouting ‘Armanchina, manbona’!

    Where do you get your inspiration from? During commercial breaks in Prabhuji’s DVDs when they show those Pakistani candy commercials? Or perhaps during reading Prabhuji’s interview in Anandolok?

    The world wants to know and you have to tell them.

    Keep up the good work.

    Rahul

    ps: a sorkari songbordhona is being arranged for you by Most Exalted Comrade Suwas Chokkotti at Netaji Indoor Stadium. Hope you will attend and utter the immortal line ‘Sorkari shahajjo pele ami aro bhalo korte pari’

  6. YOURFAN writees:
    @GB:Infinitely superb. To me each line sounds better than the other but ‘the design expresses our inner need for open-ness, a desire to be honest about ourselves, to unconstrain our menitalia (mental genitalia) from the confines of cultural and societal underwear with its constricting seams of tradition’ takes it all. Happy Diwali and thanks for the Diwali present of your fashion line to your readers. Since I am ‘yourfan’ who have taken brickbats along with you cause people think you praise yourself with a pseudo name, don’t I get a t-shirt free? If so then I will decide which one I want as I can’t possibly wear the first one (although I like it the best) – can I? Of course I should not forget about yourfan2 who also deserves a free tshirt for the same reasons; he can choose the first one.

  7. KHALLAS !!!
    You have done what we have been praying for here !!!

    Once again.. you have been bestowed with the Kanti Prize for furthering Mithunism via commercialization !!!
    http://www.orkut.com/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=533182&tid=2493497371710619970&na=2&nst=2

    I don;t know how you pulled this off.. don’t care… don’t give a shit
    Only one complaint…
    Where’s the KING Lamboooooooooooo Aaaaaaaaaaaataaaa

    I admire Bullaaa but we want more… Lohaaaaaaaaaaaaaa –
    Inspector Kale,
    that FUNKY havaldar
    Tandey
    Prabhuji with the ‘Bhagne mein Ghoda line…’ would be the Freaking bestseller !!!

    We’ve archived some of the more visible gems here…
    http://www.orkut.com/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=21677554&tid=2491741316362737807&start=1
    http://www.orkut.com/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=21677554&tid=2491744700796967055
    http://www.orkut.com/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=21677554&tid=2491735539631724687

    ONCE AGAIN .. Great Job Great Bong !!!!

  8. Arnab, you’re wasted in your current profession. See where acting has taken the middle-aged photographer Boman Irani. You’re in the first, erm, flushes of youth yet. Hint hint hint [:)]

    And THIS is what should be on the t-shirt you wear while collecting your MTv Style Award: “Mithunism, voodoo art, intellectual bankruptcy and the desire to make a buck”. And this sentence can create a new revolution: “unconstrain our menitalia (mental genitalia) from the confines of cultural and societal underwear with its constricting seams of tradition.” Yeah baby! You make us so proud. [:D]

  9. this is wicked!!! wicked man! I just loved it.
    Hehehehe, my (not so original) brain is already thinking of parallels from kannada and other language cinemas 😀
    but the bestest of them all, the mother of all lines in this post was most definitely the
    Jis toofan main dushamanon ke hosh urh jaate hain,
    Us toofan main hum chaddi sukhaate hain

    And the language man, lifted straight out of some pretentious haute-courte commentary 😀

    sooper!

  10. this is an awesome diwali gift for all the readers..can’t wait to order one body hugging t-shirt from your signature collection..btw one dumb question- will they be mass produced and available at my nearby store with ‘buy one and get the other for 1/2’ ?
    ..also Happy Diwali..cheers and enjoy!!

  11. “Jis toofan main dushamanon ke hosh urh jaate hain,
    Us toofan main hum chaddi sukhaate hain”

    I bow to the person who coined this phrase.

    GB: “Bollywood T-shirts” I see lot of potential, you better patent it !

  12. Vintage Greatbong stuff!

    Give it a try. You’ll actually end up selling a lot of them.

    And even if even half of your readers buy, you have a startup ready for sale to Amazon, eBay or even Google.

    Prabhuji is waiting for an Indian Web 2.x success story!

  13. Hi Arnab

    Since February I have been reading your blog quite regularly. I am a fan of yours. You can check your orkut fan list to confirm that.

    But I must say one thing. You are getting trapped in your own success. Repetition of themes, topics and certain characters just shows that you are somehow imitating yourself. I would not write such things to anyone else, but you write because you aspire to be a writer. You write for your audience. Your is not just another blog. It’s as good as a magazine that all of us wait eagerly. I haven’t read this full post. I liked the beginning. The moment, I saw Bulla, Chutiya and Pote images, I somehow got disappointed. You write well. Rather very well. But, somehow you are getting trapped in something like a “formula” for success. Just an opinion!

  14. @GB,

    Great One again…..!!
    I almost soiled myself laughing after I read this post!!
    What are you trying to do to us GB…

    “Jis toofan main dushamanon ke hosh urh jaate hain,
    Us toofan main hum chaddi sukhaate hain”

    Mind Blowin……

  15. Anyone who has not been fortunate enough to see this movie, some kind soul (is that you Greatbong?) has uploaded “Gunda” as well as “Loha” onto google videos for the benefit of mankind.
    And for people who are not strong enough to watch the whole movie, some other good samaritan has uploaded 2 small clips onto youtube. Check them out at

    and

  16. Why not actually sell them? I dont think the prodn cost is that high..get a blank tee and print out the pic and slogan. Then hawk them on amazon ebay et al. Try with a Limited edition series of 10 pieces only. If demand picks up..who knows….Mithun might wear your line at the oscars/filmfare someday. Get those entrepreneurial skills rolling..Think about it.

    IndianArchie

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  18. OMG!! What an amazing post.
    I have been following your posts for quite sometime and this, I think, is one of the best ever written by you. Rock on!!

  19. GB….u r simply gr8….i started readin’ ur blog few months back, n let me tell u, i hav become so addicted i just cant let it go…

    u just keep addin’ new fans with every passin’ day….n ya, happy diwali

  20. am…. sorry but i won’t be able 2 speak…. sometimes u get so much than u want and u go speechless u see!! seriously people…

  21. Great post!

    One mishthake though…
    The Bullaa T-Shirt should be sleeveless (like the T-Shirts in the 70s movies) so that there will be more Khullaaaaaaa…

    Brokeback mountain (by Bashir Babbar and Kanti Shah) in Hindi with Bullaa and Ibu Hatelaa. Immortal dialogue from Tutepith Pahaad: “Tereko main kaise chodu re mere baap”. Angrezi translashion “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

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  23. Firstly apologies for not answering each of your comments individually. I have been a bit under the weather with a sore throat and high temperature for the last few days.

    Happy Diwali everyone.

    Thank you to everyone who liked the post/designs. I have no immediate plans for “productization”—-but that may change soon :-)and when that happens, free Tshirts will be given to the ‘yourfans’. Of course some critics may point out that I am just giving myself freebies but then again…

    A woman’s line (inspired by Sush) is currently under consideration…maybe I shall spring it in spring. I must say though I am not such an expert in the design of female apparel.

    Now to Kandarp who felt I am getting repetitive, I would like to point out that 1) this is a Gunda/Mithun related post in some time 2) this post is more a spoof of “designer talk”…watching ‘Project Runway’ on Bravo (spending quality time with the Missus) was the inspiration behind this post….seeing how ‘designers’ justify their monstrous ‘look-all-the-same’ creations with vacuous verbiage. 3) I love Gunda…and Mithun. What to do?

  24. Pure genius! “…to unconstrain our menitalia (mental genitalia) from the confines of cultural and societal underwear with its constricting seams of tradition.” Priceless! 🙂

  25. when you get around to designing women’s wear,
    REMEMBER:-
    1. there is a thin svelte true-self inside every above 45kg woman
    2. the thin svelte true-self thinks that it looks devastating in strips of materials hanging by itsy-bitsy noodle straps
    3.if you do not subscribe to the ‘less-is-more-fashionable’ idea, you can always design goldlace edged chadors and burkhas.
    4. DON’T LAUGH. i have watched an yemeni designer burkha show. it was STUPENDOUS.

  26. GB, I would like a T-shirt with tandya (of loha fame) one, with the classic line “Bina petrol ka gaadi hoon, Bina nashe ki taadi hoon, meih woh phateli saadi hoon, jo hijra bhi nahi pehnta”. When are you doing your review of “The Don” movie?

  27. Hi Parnab,

    How can you claim to be a bhakta when you have ignored the lord supreme and worshiped the lesser gods. How could you not have a ‘Homage to the Guru’ sort of T-shirt in your signature line? That would have been a suuper hit, if you could have marketed it through the West Bengal Mithun Fan clubs.
    Why restrict to just Gunda, plz give us more from the other films of Mithun. I am sure he has mouthed more colourfull catch phrases.

    1 more thing (have a feeling that I am getting whinny at this point), how about a write-up about the DIDI? as in Mamata? If you dont get the right kind of inspiration, do hear her speak in Hindi or English, she ROCKS!

  28. YOURFAN writes:
    @Dipanwita: Are you so excited like a kid in a candy store who does not know whether he is coming or going with GB’s new fashion line that you got mixed up with Arnab and Parnab?
    I differ with your criterion of Didi’s “rock”. Whether she can speak good or bad English/Hindi is of no consequences to me as she is neither a teacher of English nor a teacher of Hindi. I agree with you about her ‘rock’ings but they are her antics not her speaking qualities or lack of it.

  29. Just had to reply.

    @Dipanwita: I have been called names before on this blog. But never “Parnab”. I would greatly appreciate if you did not resort to such horrendous name-calling. Please. :-). Parnab is the world’s greatest quizmaster, debater and theatre personality. I am simply Greatbong, designer of ugly Tshirts.

    Yes yourfan, I think these Tshirts have led to mass hysteria.

  30. Oshadharon…Byapok post. Hilarious. Imitating a famous Dire Straits song line, “I want my ..I want my …I want my…T shirt”.

    And yes….mengalia should be immediately incorporated into the OED. What a term!

    The ending was a gem.

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  32. Sir u committed a cardinal sin and 3 years on u dont even realise it?

    CHUTIYA TELLS THE DIALAAG TO BACHU BHIGONA AND NOT A POLICEMAN.

    rectify now or rot in hell

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