Shoaib Akhtar is a very special man. No I am not talking about his suspiciously delivered thunderbolts, his petulance, his injury-faking, illegal doping, love for fast cars and faster women. There have been others before and there will be others after him who will do the same things—I am sure.
However I can guarantee that this is something only the great Rawalpindi Express can do. [italics mine]
The army officer also alleged that Shoaib created a ruckus at the team hotel where the Indian team was also putting up
“Shoaib went to the floor where the Indian team was staying and started banging on the doors. He accidentally banged on the door of Indian coach Greg Chappell and his wife came out, dressed in her night clothes,” he said.
“Shoaib made some comments about her. The next morning, I was having breakfast with the Pakistan team manager when Woolmer stormed in. He said even Chappell has complained about Shoaib and strict action must be taken.”
Now we can only speculate about the nature of the comments that Shoaib made. Being a die-hard Bollywood fanatic, so much so that he slapped Bob Woolmer in order to resolve an argument as to whether Indian or Western music should be played on the tour bus one can assume that the comment, made on seeing Ms. Chappell in her night clothes, must have been drawn from the rich heritage of Hindi movie dialogues.
It may have been as succinct as “Aoooo Lolitaaaaaa” [Chalbaaz] or as flirtatious as “Nightdress main chanda phir bhi hain phahela charon aur ujala, hosh na khode kaheen josh main dekhne wala” [Koyla] or as explicit as “Main ne socha tha Chappell ki biwi koi bhangar ki dukaan hogi, tut phoot chuka hoga—magar iski to face Sonali, taangein Raveena, aankhen Karishma,….” [Gunda].
Well we may never know what exactly transpired but with Shoaib’s cricket career effectively over and with his close connections to the Bhatt family and emotional attachment to Hindi songs, it is only a matter of time till we see him on the big Bollywood screen.
And if he can throw dialogues as fast and as effectively as he can a cricket ball, then we have our next “high-as-a-kite” superstar.
[Acknowledgements: Akhtar pictures posted above obtained from here. To the best of our knowledge, none of the ladies in the pictures is Ms. Chappell.]
“These boys were listening to Hindi songs when Bob Woolmer removed the iPod and put on an English song. Shoaib got up and again changed the music, put on a Hindi song.
“Woolmer kept quiet and then started making fun of the song. This was too much for Shoaib. He suddenly got up and gave Woolmer a tight slap. Everyone was stunned and quickly intervened,” said Kaul.
[Update: In the latest tit-bit on the Shoaib-drug scandal, Itikhab Alam seeks to justify why Mr Akthar drew a two-year ban:
Intikhab rubbished speculations that the panel was unfairly harsher on Akhtar than Asif. “If people read our statement they will understand,” Intikhab asserted. “He [Shoaib] drinks alcohol, has an active sex life and he’s been part of anti-doping awareness programmes.
Which is why Asif got away lighter since he looks like he has “never been laid”. ]