Meow

30 Comments

When Meow FM104.8, India’s first radio station for women, wanted to create compelling content for their first week of existence they needed a delicious chunk of hunkhood with seductive voice and flirtatious temper on their show, whose rich dulcet baritones would make ladies listeners swoon, go “sh-boogie bop” and come back purring for more.

Instead they got me.

It all started when I got a mail from Ginnie Mahajan asking me if I would be interested in coming on her show, which fortuitously was just when I was going to be in New Delhi. Being a shameless publicity hound from the Mamata Banerjee camp of self-effacement, I hastily agreed.

As I reached the 8th floor of the Videocon towers (Jhandewalan extension) and stepped into the offices of Meow FM104.8, I was struck by the overwhelming sense of felinity in the office decor, which combined with the name “Meow” and the fact that this was Delhi led to a voice in my head repeating over and over again that famous line from “Gunda”: “Abhe o kafanchor neta, mere naam ki qawali gaana chor de aur kaam ki baat bata. Jiske liye tu Delhi se Billi ka dudh peeke aaya hain.”

I was under the impression that my choice of music would be played and that does not have to be of the “latest” hits type —it just had to be in the library. I had thought of “Jimmy Jimmy Aaja Aaja” (the seduction song favoured by Mrs. Mohinder Amarnath to get Jimmy Amarnath hooking and pulling), “Ho Jata Hain Kaise Pyar” (one of my favourite 90s songs –from “Yaalgaar”) and for all the ladies out there the sensitive romantic ditty “Pyar karo to aise ki udhar ki udhar khabar na ho” from Ikka Raja Rani (in theory only, no library of music would ever have this) and two English songs: “Billie Jean” and the eternal hit “Mysterious Girl” by the exquisitely abbed and nippled Peter Andre, if only for women listeners to make a subconscious connection between the visual appeal of Andre and me. (Note to self: Have to write post on a radio channel I intend to start: 100.0 FM Bow-wow , India’s first radio channel for men, with the motto: “Every doggie has a style”).

However I was told that because this was the first week of the channel, there was no choice for me—it was all pre-set. Hmph. And I was also told not to mention brand names on air and was asked to use an euphemism for the genre of the site Desibaba was ( I suggested “exotic”). Evidently Howard Stern is still many years in the future. Maybe Bow-wow FM will change that —once I launch it.

Anyhow, the show got on air and we were flooded with calls from Delhi-ites discussing blogs, Web 2.0 and how groovalicious RTDM and most specifically I am. Ahem. Not quite. There was one caller who wanted to know how he could blog on my website and another person who informed us of this blogging machine the person has from the US which, if it is used by anyone else, administers an electric shock to them. I really wanted to believe that the person concerned was BS-ing but the sincerity in the voice was disconcerting. And another caller disconnected while on hold. That in a nutshell was the audience response. Thank you New Delhi.

So in the absence of extensive audience participation, the rest of the one hour was made up by music I did not recognize (except one from Main Hoon Na), Ginnie’s very cheerful and energetic questioning, and me being made to say “Meow” multiple times—something I endeavored to do as masculinely as possible in addition to the answering of some whys and hows and WTFs. And several times during the recording, the realization that I was in a studio with a headphone standing in front of a boom microphone, triggered a desire to stop talking and start singing “Loote koi man ka nagar” in demure Jaya Bachchan style, a desire that I fought off with much mental control.

Well anyhow the show went through without any major snafu and while offers of other radio appearances have not been exactly flowing in since then, the first step had been taken in the path to the fruition of my evil plan: domination of the airwaves.

In other words, my radio career is not roaring like a tiger yet. But definitely meowing.

[Picture courtesy http://warnewsradio.org/]

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30 thoughts on “Meow

  1. hehe! delhi is like that!

    hope you enjoyed it! how come you there is no mention of Ginnie’s charm?

    Did you get her number! 😉

  2. kekekekekekeke

    Thanks for the Gunda analogy.
    This gives the thankless prabhu bhakt in me to have an oppertunity to bug you to write the long awaited post of Gunda. It has been pretty long since Valmiki and Ved Vyas have gone by….

  3. Drat and double drat. As a Delhiite marooned in Namma Bengaluru, I sure did miss out on chance to talking with you on radio :). Does this channel belong to TV today by any chance ? Their office too is located in the Videocon Tower.

    Whats with the women only stuff ? Are men not allowed to tune in ?

  4. And several times during the recording, the realization that I was in a studio with a headphone standing in front of a boom microphone, triggered a desire to stop talking and start singing “Loote koi man ka nagar” in demure Jaya Bachchan style, a desire that I fought off with much mental control.

    Arnab, I just fell off the chair with laughter. 😀

  5. Hilarious!

    Though im not surprised at all…Delhi is known for its rather ill-informed (read ignorant) junta and a few elite (read creme de la creme) who haunt India Habitat Centre and the National School of Drama….

    A similar show in Calcutta FM channels would have been more fulfilling experience for you, GB!!!

  6. Hahahahahahaha….Trying to mentally match your picture with the meow sound. Somehow I can’t quite imagine u meowing…. By the way, how did u meow? I mean which kind of meow was it?

    Was it the “come-hither I am making eyes at the host” meow, the angry- “u r encroaching on my teritory” meow or the purring cat after eating all the cream meow?

    I am sure ur numerous women fans would love to hear some of those versions….

  7. “There was one caller who wanted to know how he could blog on my website and another person who informed us of this blogging machine the person has from the US which, if it is used by anyone else, administers an electric shock to them.”

    ROTFLMAO!!

  8. @Rishi: Maybe I will make my guests say that.

    @Mukul: Bhaisahab….I merely utter Shakti Kapoor’s dialogues. I am not Shakti Kapoor.

    @Anirudhb: Yes yes I shall do it one day. It will however be a multi-part post.

    @Anonymous Coward: Yes it does belong to the India Today group. The surest way to get men to tune in is to call something exclusively for women…that’s how Sananda used to sell.

    @Teleute: 🙂

    @Hariprasad: Alas I do not follow Indian idol.

    @PSB: Hilarious. If we could only get our Hon. Amar Singh to..

    @Shan: And luckily you didnt have to hear it.

    @Kits: 🙂

    @Hetal: Mir? Interested?

    @Rahul: An embarassed Meow….most certainly. A sleepy Meow..

    @JAP: 🙂

    @Feline: Point taken.

    @Bhopale: 🙂

    @ND: Yeah…go figure !

  9. Hi, just discovered your blog. It’s marvellous!

    Did a search for MEow, and turned u with this too. Might help some of your readers get a serious perspective too! luxuryservice.blogspot.com

    bye

  10. ‘Meow’.. are you serious? uf.

    and btw, “Ho Jata Hain Kaise Pyar”is my favourtie song too! it was on the radio yesterday, just out of the blue, i almost went psycho in the car. not to forget that dude in the movie dancing to it… what was that? 😉

  11. hello! i was on meow meself yesterday, for their author prog. most entertaining. they are still singing your praises. also, jabberwock is due to appear soon on the blogger show. that should be fun.

  12. “exquisitely abbed and nippled Peter Andre”

    This brought embarrassing memories of college days spent drooling over andre’s androgynous body. man, u rock.

  13. @Ad Libber: Because one of my “breakout” posts was about Desibaba.

    @Aby: Yep.

    @Yash: Thanks for the link.

    @Sang.Froid: Lovely ! It *is* a great song. And yes that dance…

    @Samit: Yes it should be. Meow.

    @Emgeez: Not me. Not me. I never drooled. Ok maybe a few times.

    @Sameera: Disappointed? Why so? Arent they all simply spectacular?

  14. Hilarious!
    Incidently, I wrote a post on Meow, only I spelt it “Meaow”
    Missed ur show, and the chance to speak to u on the radio. I’m sure u loved the Delhi enthusiasm. lol

  15. Gunda – Let me make a Confession. I havent watched GUNDA. And therefore, feel very wretched and under-priviledged when people talk about dialogues of the movie. Came to know about the dialogues only a few days back when comparisons between dialogues of Rajnikath and Mithunda were being done in my friends’ circle. I was hoping to see a review of it from you, but to no avail. I am waiting for it.

    Bow-Bow : I dont want you to have a Dog’s life.

  16. Almost all your blogs contain erudite observations from Loha and Gunda. Any special reason apart from the sheer brilliance of both the movies, especially Gunda.

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