Jelly Beans And The Fab Four


The British lions vicious intimidatory tactics backfired on them spectacularly as insulted by their throwing of jelly beans at him while he was batting, Zaheer Khan ripped through the English line up with the second new ball.

Yes you heard me right. The English fielders (and Pietersen was the prime suspect) threw jelly beans at Zaheer Khan in a display of mature gamesmanship, though why the throwing of jelly beans touched a raw nerve in Zaheer I cannot say except that maybe he thought they were referring to a certain part of his anatomy.

Continue Reading »


The Day of the Nasal


December 13, 2001.

Indian democracy was assaulted by Jihadi cowards.

July 26, 2007.

The Indian way of life itself came under attack, with catastrophe being barely avoided through some judicious phone-tapping.

Himesh Reshammiya, the Voice of the Nation and the Janooo of the masses narrowly survived an assassination attempt by Ejaz Lakdawala’s gang, thus proving again, the age-old adage: “If God loves you, no-one can kill you or make your movie, no matter how crappy it is, a flop”.

Continue Reading »

Miscarriages of Justice


“Sometimes you feel that there’s more respect for animal rights now than there is to be a Muslim in Australia,” he (Ikebal Patel, president of the Australian Federation of Islamic Councils) said.

[From here]

As images of Dr. Mohammed Haneef, in chains doubled up with his head between his knees being taken to a detention center for terrorists where he would be kept in 23 hours solitary confinement, are flashed across the world, the Osamas and the Al-Zawahiris must think that Christmas is early this year because this is exactly how they want the “war on terror” to be played out in the world media. Nothing enrages moderate Muslims more than to see one of their own, being humiliated and persecuted on the flimsiest of charges based on supposed facts now proven to be lies, as it confirms the Jihadi central thesis of the war of civilizations and the victim-hood of Islam in that war.

Continue Reading »

Sonu Hua Madhyam


Austin Powers (Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, 1997):

Yeah, and I can’t believe Liberace (picture to left) was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn’t see that one coming.

The uneasy peace between Bollywood and the press was shattered as Sonu Nigam, in a shocking open letter accused a prominent Bollywood gossip columnist/movie reviewer, S. Jha of having propositioned him for some homosexual play-back.

Continue Reading »

Thanking For Coming Again


Manish Vij of Ultrabrown has been covering, in detail, the controversy over the upcoming Simpsons movie where one of the Simpsons characters , Apu, is being used in the movie promotion in a manner that is being considered by some to be racist and stereotypical.

For those who are unaware of the Simpsons world, Apu is an illegal Indian immigrant, a graduate from Caltech (Calcutta Institute of Technology) who despite holding a PhD from Caltech (Calcutta Institute of Technology) runs a 24-hours convenience store, Kwik-E-Mart where he speaks in a sing-song “Indian” accent, cheats his customers in various devious ways and is the last word in subservience/boot-licking saying “Thank you come again” even to people who rob his store. He also has eight kids, had an arranged marriage, worships “weird-looking” Gods—you get the picture.

Continue Reading »

Knowing Thyself


Here I was, thinking that the reason why I consider Pratibha Tai to be “not Rashtrapati Bhavan material” is because she defrauded a cooperative bank and distributed the bank’s assets to her relatives.

Evidently not.

The reason why I oppose “I-see-dead-people” Ms. Patil’s candidature is because I am an MCP who is afraid that Ms. Patil’s ascendancy to the top would open the doors to even more female participation in our national life, a dystopian vision of the future that puts the fear of God into my black chauvinist, power-hungry heart.

Continue Reading »

Aah Taj


“India can do it” said Mother Indira in 1983.

And today in 2007, they have done it.

Once again.

Indians from Kashmir to Kanyakumari, regardless of whether they adore Himesh, Bappi or Rajini, came together as one in a massive tsunami of emotion to propel Taj Mahal into the prestigious list of Seven Wonders of the World, overcoming amazing odds and many alien conspiracies and geopolitical string-pullings.

Continue Reading »