Aap Ka Surroor—the Revi eeew

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When there is faith, there is no fear.

— Aap Ka Surroor the Moviee 2007

One of the most standard plot devices in porn movies is to have a beautiful, surgically augmented hottie in a flimsy nightie prancing about, alone at home in a sunlit mansion, when in comes the “pizza man” or the “gardener”. And before you realize it, intense amorous action is initiated accompanied by passionate facial contortions and rapid locomotion of assorted body parts. The key to enjoying what follows is to suspend disbelief—to accept without questioning that there is something about the pizza man or the gardener that makes women jump on him, without the exchange of even the minimum of pleasantries.

In “Aap Ka Surroor the Moviee”, Himesh Reshammiya is that pizza-man. Not that he takes his clothes off—though it has to be said he does show a disquieting amount of male cleavage. It’s just that the moment he appears on screen women and even men, in Europe, go wild with lust/passion/love/devotion. Busty lawyers start going “Ali ali” and throw themselves at him. Every few minutes, someone utters a variation on “tum kitne famous ho”. The promoter of his show exults: “Duniya ke sabse bade performer ho tum”. The heroine says—“There is nothing about you I do not like.” The heroine’s dad tells him: “Bahoot naam roshan kar rahe ho humara desh ka. You make us proud.” As if that’s not enough, the heroine tells her dad “He has no starry attitude. Koi dikhawa naheen”. He does not drink, likes girls in salwar kameezes (presumably the only cleavage he likes is his own) and is beyond greed, lust or any of the vices we know of. By the way, he can also hack through security keypads using his Jedi music force.

And lest anyone thinks that this superman Himesh plays on screen is just a character in a movie and not a reflection of his self, let me point out that the protagonist’s name in the “Aap Ka Surroor” just happens to be Himesh Reshammiya.

Does the moviee have a story? Well yes. Though it would be more accurate to call it a sequence of events and scenes strung together on the most tenous of plot threads, whose sole purpose is to illustrate Himesh’s total grooviness. Kind of like a Hanuman Chalisa of the times. As they say at the start of the movie: “Bhagwan ke screenplay bhi kitne ajeeb hain.” Well I don’t know about God’s screenplay but ‘ajeeb’ does not even begin to describe the screenplay of “Aap Ka Surroor”.

Himesh, the world’s greatest rock star, visits Germany where he is accused of molesting and murdering the investigative reporter, Nadia—a German hottie who through some genetic mutation (considering she has not a speck of any Indian inherited feature) or perhaps through a case of ” Kauwe ne cheel ka chumma liya aur cheel ne chuhe ka baccha paida kiya” (dialogue courtesy: Loha) is Raj Babbar’s daughter. As Himesh is arrested in Germany he is read out his Miranda rights and given the right to remain silent. Needless to say, that is the last thing we can hope that Himesh will do. Breaking out of jail in an escape sequence that looks straight out of a Monty Python skit, and aided by his band of friends and his biggest constituency—the autowallahs of Germany, Himesh Reshammiyya ultimately cracks the mysteriee, in a way that would make Sherlock Holmes break his pipe and scream: “Tanhaaiyaaaaa”.

Himesh Reshammiya’s acting is a revelation. Just like his most exquisite works of music are but an assemblage of simple notes, his acting is also a composition of very elemental histrionic elements. First there is the constipated, eyes slitted intense look. Then there is the Angelina Jolie -Narasimha Rao pout which we are to believe make women go weak in the knees. And of course the passionate eye closing “passing-stool” expression. For variety, he also bites the air and sometimes preloads “expressions” on his face even before the dialogue that is supposed to trigger that expression has been spoken.

The choice of sixteen-year-old Hansika Motwani as the virginal consort of our hero displays some Jacksonian traits in our superstar’s preferences—possibly he also believes in having tomorrow’s adults today. Mallika Sherawat plays Ruby James, a lawyer with bulging artificial legal briefs tied to her chest, a dangerously seductive woman whom every man desires. Yet she has eyes on only one man. Yes we know who that is. The pizza man.

But then again as I watched the magic unfurling on screen, I realized there really is something about Himesh. Something unfathomable. How else can you explain that a monument to extreme narcissism emerges as the favorite to be the biggest hit of 2007 —recovering its gigantic costs in three days ? Is it an animal magnetism that he radiates? Is that why, despite being clad in a burqua, he was recognized at Ajmer Dargha? Must have been the superstar smell that led people to point to a dark burqua clad woman and shout: “That’s not a lady. That’s Himesh Reshammiya.” Or perhaps he was the only “woman” around with a beard and a nasal voice. We will never know.

What we do know is that a sequel is being planned and no matter what the story or the other actors in it, it is going to be a hit because of “his” presence in it.

Call it a movie or a “moviee”, an epic “luv” story or a shameless monument to self-worship—-the truth is that Himesh Reshammiya brings in the “moniee”.

And that’s really all that matters.

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142 thoughts on “Aap Ka Surroor—the Revi eeew

  1. Alternative explanation I have is, the common man is fed up with debauchery masquerading as the in-thing and plots which circle on adultery all the time. This real luv story has come as a whiff of fresh air to him ;). And you are blasphemous to compare it with the pizza-man plot. 😀

  2. First there is the constipated, eyes slitted intense look. Then there is the Angelina Jolie -Narasimha Rao pout which we are to believe make women go weak in the knees. And of course the passionate eye closing “passing-stool” expression.
    Priceless!!
    Gotta see this one!!

  3. GB,

    But you didnt answer the most important question. Question which is on every honest, hardworking and law-abiding Indian mind.

    Why the hell he doesn’t smile ?

    My guess is loose bowel movements.

  4. Hats off Great Bong.
    Terrific review. I always have high expectations from your reviews and never ever I go disappointed.
    Use of alternate phrases like rapid locomotion of assorted body parts and situations like Sherlock holmes
    saying tanhaiyaan ……Nothing beats them.

    Keep going man.

    Will be eagerly awaiting for your next post.

  5. People enjoy watching Satyajit Ray’s movies and also enjoy watching gorilla in circus. That is whay AKS is such a hit. Actually, I felt happy when tara rum pum and jhoom barabar jhoom flopped, but AKS being hit re-confirmed my opinion that average indian is bankrupt in interllectuality related issues. Majority of the indian men are like Michael Jackson and drool over minors but lack guts to communicate their thoughts or bring their ideas to fruition. For all those men, this middle aged Himesh romancing Hansika is a satisfier. AKS being hit proves something is very very wrong with Indians. Our politics, foreign policy, marriage system, judicial system, and everything in India sucks. May be that is having the effect on average indian and making him go mad and watch films like AKS.

  6. Really great review GB. Each sentence is a gem. You know, whenever my mood is down, I read the reviews of kabhie aage kabhie peeche and salaa-e-ishq, etc., in ur blog. This one is the addition to that list. Really great writing.

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  8. Now I HAVE to see this one!
    Anything that inspires such terrificly creative posts must be sublime!!!
    Caps off, HR. On second thoughts, let that secret hidden.
    – sameer

  9. its a hit??? wow, i just might watch it. though I am sure i won’t be able to sit through the full 2.5 hrs, i am just too damn curious!

    by the way, how about a review of Jhoom Barabar? or Cheeni Kum?

  10. Whatever be his defects, there IS one good thing about Himesh- he does bring out the best in you!!

    Awesome piece…..Even better than the Desibaba oone…

  11. The fact is that no matter how much we bitch and gripe we’re all going to be at the sequel, money in hand.

    They said Sacha Baron Chohen had taken satire to a new area with Ali G/Borat/Bruno.

    But the concept of Himesh is beyond even that…. its like the character is real but the situations are fake. Think about that.. Himesh will be like James Bond only he’s a real person.

    @ Kishor: Try not to take the success of bad movies personally. It’s bad for digestion.

    India would a be a poorer place if we had just Satyajit Ray and no Rajnikant, Mithun, Rajkumar or for that matter… Himesh Bhai!

  12. Give me a pizza man anyday.
    My husband is an alumnus of the Allahabad Agricultural Institute.
    Does it make him a gardener?

  13. Wow, what do I say? GB, fantastic review- especially the part where you described HR’s acting prowess. And I also would like to echo Kishor’s views- that the success of the movie is a commentary on the times we live in and reflects the intellectual debauchery that assails the majority of the people here.. my intention is not to sound elitist, but I guess satire is the only optimal response to the madness around & I haven’t seen (m)any who are better than you at this. Lage Raho 🙂

  14. Oh super review! The Hanuman Chalisa of our times, cracked me up!

    @ Gaurav
    He doesn’t smile because his brother died of bone marrow cancer or something. Ria, thats Hansika the 16 year old chubby-bordering on fat-kid brings back the smile on his face.

    BTW, don’t miss the child with a hole in her heart in this film. She is there for less than 2 scenes and she’s got a hole in her heart. Aren’t you just sick of them sick kids in movies (recent example: Cheeni Kum) who r there just so the director can extract some response from you with the barest minimum efforts? I am.

  15. I’m telling you if you wanna have a good time at a movie theater Aap Ka Surror is a better bet. At least you are guaranteed entertainment. No point in going for films like Cheeni Kum, you go in with expectations and it turns out to be one big bore. When my friends and I went in we knew what to expect. It was going to be crap of the first grade and we were ready for it. Laughed from the first frame to the credits. Another tip: go to one of those single screen theaters and watch it at 30-50 bucks.

  16. I think we have another Shivaji Rao Gaekwad aka the Thalaiva in making… its the curiosity we all have to see..how ‘more’ stupid can heeee beee.

  17. It is still difficult for me to believe that the movie is so narcissistic.

    As for other commenters, Indian cinema (in general) is not *supposed* to be artistic to us.

    It’s function is not to appear beautiful/meaningful to urban youth with internet connections and time to burn.

    Think about the 60% of Indians living in villages (atleast a signifcant portion of them) whose values are quite opposite of ours.

  18. I have been waiting with baited breath & anticipation to the review of this moviee more than the moviee itself …. and having read your review, I have decided that mebbe a trip to the local theatre to watch this piece of crap ain’t such a bad idea …. fantastic review – as usual, all the sarcasm, the phrases & insane comparisions …. just sublime …. keep watching such epic movies & keep posting such fabulous reviews …. until the next crappy moviee!

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  20. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …
    Had been singing Jhalak Dikhlaja for this revieeeeeeeew of urs 🙂

    The hilarious post was worth the wait.

    Two Qs ArnabDa –
    Q1. Why does himesh frown all the time ?
    Q2. Why does himesh wear the Baseball cap all the time ???

    Please please please enlighten us with the answers (which are there in the movie-I’ve been told) so that we do not have to watch the movie and share your pain 😀

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  22. Himesh Chaalisa! Is Himesh going “yaaaaaaan” less tolerable than watching Shahrukh Khan act i.e.,giggle and snigger “hunhhunhhunhhhh” though an entire movie? This is the revenge of the hams! If nothing we have a great sense of humour!

  23. This thing is a hit? Recovered its costs in three days? Businessmen of the world! Go end the rest of your futile lives like lemmings.

    Gujjus rule. Under any circumstances (adverse or narcissistic), they know the dhando! Row-king!

  24. Awesome analogy !! Himesh *is* India’s answer to Ron ‘the Hedgehog’ Jeremy, the everyman superstud. Once again, your review is way more entertaining than the movie that is being reviewed

  25. Thank God I learnt Biology in English Medium School otherwise I wouldn’t have got meaning of ‘passing-stool’ expression.

  26. I dont get it…why do we the ppl make moviees like these HITs??? Its a total suspension of any rational thot and behaviour!!!! and pratibha patils president?
    But ur description about HR’s 3 “acting” faces is too much. O god that angelina pout…rotfl!

  27. Earth shattering opening. Box office will sing glorious tune in the final tally. Distributors will laugh all the way to the bank. Critics be damned. This one’s for the masses
    Taran Adarsh, Trade Guide, Indiafm.com

    take that!!!!! GB

  28. Hilarious!!!..ill definitly watch it now…i guess this can even beat da likes of hera pheri n hungama..maybe even golmaal n angoor…:)

  29. He was recognized only because his dark burqua had dargah-khadim-sanctioned holes for strategic cleavage exposure. The rumors are it is the same line of burqua worn by Abdul Rashid Ghazi while escaping from Lal Masjid. Of course, with a name that is an anagram of Reshmi Maya(™), Himesh’s autogynephilia can not be all that surprising.

  30. Holy shit!!!!!!!!

    I am in splits man. Awesome Awesome Reviiiiieeeew. 🙂 Fucking hilarious!!

    Himesh Reshammiyya ultimately cracks the mysteriee, in a way that would make Sherlock Holmes break his pipe and scream: “Tanhaaiyaaaaa”.

    This has got to be my favorite posts of all time. Thank you GB 🙂 Keep them coming.

    One question though: How the hell do you manage to sit thru such crap?

  31. I am sure our good old pizza-man movie will be a lot better than than ‘The Real Luv Story’. At least you get to see a hot babe 😉

  32. brilliant review must say one of the best reviews of urs even better than Goonda. Male cleavage, pizza man, romance with a 16 yeard old simply amazing. GB u r the best man hats off

  33. Ok, I didn’t read the entire thing because I am still stuck at 86% in Azureus and I didn’t want to stumble upon a spoiler.

    No, I don’t mean that you write your reviews seriously, but almost any poignant humor might reveal something about this crap-fest.

    I want to bear this monumental heap of garbage that’s been stunning the masses and the molasses alike!

    Having said, that the first paragraph is a seminal effort in porn critique!

    Arnab, you sure have your eyes everywhere! From Mike’s Apartment to Mallika’s rack. 🙂

    Excellent first para, will read the rest later!!!!

  34. Pingback: Review - Aap Kaa Suroor » without giving the movie away…

  35. HR really does rock….who can forget the emotional ‘Its a mistake’ and the committed ‘Main Riaa se pyaar karta hoon, sachcha pyaar’ and the sensational ‘Bhagwaan sirf 2 baar haste hain, pehli baar jab duniya kisko aabaad karna chahe aur Woh use barbaad, doosri baar jab duniya kisiko barbaad karna chahe aur Woh use aabaad’…
    The strumming of the guitar trying to create a rock version of the ‘Gayatri Mantra’ and ex-roadie Bani trying to steal the scene, the DDLJ-style ‘Ria aapke paas meri amanat hai’ and HR doing a drunken jig ala Prabhuji Mithun da et all, might just catapult the movie to the league of Gunda, Loha etc.

    Great movie….and an apt review….

  36. Another cult classic in the making? Only time can tell.

    Ever wondered why “Himesh” broken into syllables means a male sheep – “he-mesh”? Does he have enough body hair to provide for a good sweater?

  37. god!!!!
    I dont believ this…

    ‘constipated, eye-slitted intense look’…..”Angelina Jolie – Narsimha Rao pout’..

    Where do you get these metaphors from????!!!! 😀

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
    Whatta Reev-eeeeeeuuuuu!!!!

    Great!!!

  38. yes…one more thing..
    please please enlighten us about MOHAGURU as well..

    waiting eeeeaaagerlyyyyyyyy!!

  39. Dear GB u don’t know poor chap , what harm you have done to the world with your side-splitting review !!! Its worse than greenhouse effect and global warming . It has forced a million to rush to see the movie ! Now this is going to overtake Spiderman 3 and Titanic I’m afraid. Next time u review please take care…

  40. OH MY GOD!OH MY HIMESH would have expressed it exactly the way i would have wanted it, NOW!

    What a movie!And what a review!!! 😀

    It makes me want to try out my ability or the lack of it to experiment with moi nasal passage.

    “Himesh Reshammiyya ultimately cracks the mysteriee, in a way that would make Sherlock Holmes break his pipe and scream: “Tanhaaiyaaaaa”.”—This takes the cake and walks away in a style that matches our self proclaimed self discovered the great hero of the nation, the one and only cleavage showing ‘Duniya ke sabse bade performer’ cum pizza man, our very own Himmesh. 😀

    Did i spell him right?

    Who cares but?An extra ‘M’ shall add to his faMous Macho Male Musical personality!

    Kheek! 😀

  41. Aap Ka Surror a Hit, I always knew tht, will wathc th movie this weekend with my CAP on 🙂
    anythng which touches him is gold these days, i wanted this one to be a flop only bcoz i dont want him to do anothr one 😛

  42. I must say, the review was very well written. I would personally NEVER watch the movie even if I was paid a million bucks, but yes I applaud that man’s guts to try and become a hero. But maybe somebody should remind him that he should stick to doing what he does best (which would amount to either nothing or composing some mixed and remixed and similar sounding songs) and leave other things like singing and acting to other professionals. Somehow, he reminds me of the actress Salma Agha who used to insist on singing and acting in all her films. Are they by any chance kumbh mele ke bichde hue brother-sister pair?

  43. I think middle class the the bane of India. For example, whenever there is an article sociopolitical issues on this blog, comments hardly go past 40, but on Gundaa and AKS reviews, they easily pass 100. All the Indian middle class people shud be burnt on steak. We will sell even our country for a small bit of entertainment in exchange.

  44. @ Kishor

    Its not just the middle class…but across the cross section. But thats not bad, is it?

    Why worry needlessly, when we can go to a Bollywood movie, watch a dancing and prancing couple, changing costumes every minute and taking us on a world tour with every scene.

    Afterall, everything outside the “Brahmann”, is just “Maya”.

    Btw, do my “steak”; medium rare, with A1 sauce on the side.

  45. Oooh Himmes !! You guys are all nuts, Himmes is the ultimate heart throb! And GB, you are definitely going to suffer for comparing him with the UPS man, oops, milkman, uggh, no Pizza boy, yeah there, got it right. Himmes is wayy wayyyy wayyyyyy hotter than that !!! I walk around in my sunlit mansion all day just hoping that Himmes would drop by!

  46. @People – DO NOT criticize. Make way for the new God. The baton of ludicrousness has to change caps .. sorrrryy .. hands. Prabhuji has to have a successor. Himesh-Prashant are the answer. Although Karan Johar, Kunal Kohli and Arjun Sablok were serious contenders.

  47. @GB – some of your readers are getting funnier .. LOL-ed when I read these Kishor gems.. they are seriously funny.

    “People enjoy watching Satyajit Ray’s movies and also enjoy watching gorilla in circus. That is whay AKS is such a hit”

    “Majority of the indian men are like Michael Jackson and drool over minors but lack guts to communicate their thoughts or bring their ideas to fruition.”

    @Swati … this one made me LOL too

    “My husband is an alumnus of the Allahabad Agricultural Institute. Does it make him a gardener?”

    Laugh on ..

  48. Damn you Greatbong ! Now I absolutely HAVE to see the movie, if for nothing else to see the “passing stool” expression.

  49. Hmm. The first paragraph takes the cake. 🙂 Reminds me of the really well made Naughty America series – “My sister’s Hot Friend” and “My Friend’s Lonely MILF Mom”. It is probably better to watch a hardcore porn film than a film like that. And yes films like these are a social commentary on Indian masses. I mean people call Indians born in US as ABCDs. What would you call people who would really like (and not pretend to like) and are genuinely touched by such movies? Confused would be an euphemism. Look at the montage of desires, fetishes and bete noires – People in Europe adulating over his music, German girl being the daughter of an Indian man, German girl raped but our own desi girls should be clad from neck to toe in Salwar Kameez, I like grinding in discs and pubs…but no no I dont like taru and debauchery…in short a bundle of contradictions, Miranda rights being read out outside US, a touch of Nabokov and Kubrick and Lolita sans the art and emotion – this actually may be more due to a latent desire to be the wall posters of 16 year olds nationwide than Jacksonian traits.

    But just like Spiderman 3, these films could hardly care about sense and only about using the underlying popularity of the lead character as a leverage to get good financial returns. Such movie making exercise is actually a good example a risk free investment – return is fully backed by the magnetism of the lead (Himesh here and and Spiderman in that series). Just play to the cult followers- critics can go and fuck themselves. A sequence of films is therefore an inevitability rather than a surprise. The sequence will go on till one flops.

    Sad therefore is the genuine movie lover and the talented movie maker – the person financing would want only returns, not substance. And perhaps the pizza man and the porn star would also be sad. Perhaps their stuff has a bit more originality and meaning than this.

    I think that the quote from the Rediff interview says it all:
    “What is the best compliment you got for the film so far?

    The best compliment I got was that while critics didn’t agree to it, my fans said that I am a better actor than a music director and a singer. This is the best compliment I got, and I was shocked.

    Yeah we are shocked too!!! 🙂

  50. GB sometimes I feel that I should copy/paste and save all this in my email.. so that if anything were ever to happen to your site or u decided to stop blogging and took down the site… I could still read it and get all nostalgic 🙂

  51. @ Kishor

    If everything sucks in India, why are you still in India? Or is it that other countries feel that you suck ? lol

  52. You know what…bcoz of this review only many are interested in watching the movie….its going to be a superhit…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  53. Hi Oi, yeah it is because other countries feel that I suck. I don’t have the required educational qualification or money to go abroad. Otherwise, i would have left India long back permanently.

  54. @Kishor:

    “Otherwise, i would have left India long back permanently.”

    And leave Hyderabad? Leave South India? Why? Do you want to give up your South Indian-ness?

    Tut, tut!

  55. Hi Sayon, where were u ? Missing ur comments. 🙂 That was just an anger outburst man. This Himesh is making me go mad. HR effect is rather magical. It is making his fans and enemies both go mad.

  56. Unbelievable! This one gets triple as many comments as the post on that gem of a movie, Red Swastika. I guess we all have to live with the fact that Himesh is there to stay for a while.

  57. OI,

    “GB sometimes I feel that I should copy/paste and save all this in my email.. so that if anything were ever to happen to your site or u decided to stop blogging and took down the site… I could still read it and get all nostalgic ”

    My pal, I know you mean well, but please never say that again, ever.

  58. I didnt know this movie was worth a review. AM curious to see it now.
    Expecting a review of the Rajni-starrer ‘Sivaji’!!!

  59. Man who told you to watch this movie. In my opinion it is not your right to blame something , Himesh didn’t ask you to come and watch his movie. Aha! then how would have you written this so much long review. He He He.. ..
    The movie is a benchmark , in future if any producer or director decides to make a bakwaas movie he will surely watch Aap ka suroor for ten times so that he can come up with more bakwaas movie….

  60. Hilarious review – thank God for movieees like these so people like you can rip them apart!!!

  61. Arnabda,
    I have a feeling that after reading your review many guys who wouldn’t have seen this movie are actually going to the theatre to watch it now …. just to appreciate your review better !!!! Reshmaniaya should pay you some money for this.

    In fact even I might get the DVD from the neighbourhood store for 2 dollars a night and watch it now ….

  62. yourfan2’s comment set me thinking a bit.
    I guess there are just a few kinds of people and they just get mixed up in different social and economic backgrounds. I think it is fine to say “I didn’t like the movie, it did not make any sense and I think it is a load of junk”, we can all discuss and joke about it. But the moment you say that people who watch it, those who like and those who appreciate it are in some way worse off than you, you are exhibiting the extreme narrow mindedness that we often accuse others of possessing.

    A lot of the “critically acclaimed” movies are ones that a normal person can barely sit through, and a lot of the so called b-grade movies are amazingly entertaining. It all boils down to why you watch a movie.

    Specifically about the Miranda right, the protection against self incrimination is a basic right that has been accorded by most constitutions, and while, I am not sure about how they are read out in Germany, it at least seems like they do read it out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_to_silence#Germany. My point here being that,
    1. It does not really matter, this is not a documentary and the audience does not know about it and does not really care. Authenticity is not something they value, and they are not any lesser for it.
    2. Even “we” with our superior education and economic and social status do not often fare much better. We can be excused for thinking the US is the only place where your rights are read out to you.

    From a marketing standpoint, a director who gets watched by half the audience because they think he is good and by the other half because they think he is bad, sounds like a really successful director.

    Anyway, long rambling aside, what I mean to say is that, it is fine to criticize the movie, but that by itself does not indicate anything about the standing of the audience in comparison to us who did not like it.

  63. @ Gaurav

    I understand what you are trying to say and my photos has been plagiarised for commercial gain… so rest assured I’d never do anything like that 🙂

  64. Well ..i know why the movie is a hit (if it really went on to become a hit)…its because its really a laugh riot
    My friends and I went to see the movie just because of the normal performance that HR has shown in this movie ( is it becoming a household name, now one person would love to believe this)
    Now i am really thankful to HR for letting us all know the various mysteries surrounding him and his life like why he used to wear a cap and why he smiled only rarely and many more
    Now we had been dying to know all of it..
    We had been discussing about it all the time before the movie was finally released ..LOL
    For all those people who have not watched this movie, if this review could make you laugh your guts out then imagine what the real movie could do to you
    Everything about the movie was so stupid that we people fell off our seats laughing only to the discomfort of a few rare species of HR’s fans who were seated in front of us.
    And the poor HR is still under the impression that he has become an actor ..oops sorry a superstar…
    Now if there was an equivalent of Razzie’s award in Bollywood …. it would certainly go to Aap Ka Suroor
    By the Way any guesses about how Hr is going to go about the sequel !!

  65. Oh man, I’ve heard so much about this movie, I really want to see it….Is it up anywhere on the Net?

    GB, the Sherlock Holmes breaking his pipe and screaming out Tanhaiyaa…aaaa..aaaa….had me in splits, come to think of it, why not have Himesh play Sherlock in a movie…all he’d have to do is change one cap for another…..

  66. Hi yourfan2, very good comment. Yeah, I hope these guys will be one film wonders like Tushaaaar Kapooor. It would be very interesting to see how many would turn up to theaters on the opening days of next spider man or HR’s movie, because now people know what is the real stuff. Yeah, I think that is the reason why each Star Wars sequel made less and less money at the ticket window. Once the hype goes down and the dust settles, real stuff comes out. Yeah, I agree with you, porn movies are always better than these, they definitely have originality.

  67. I remember the diaogue from GURU,” Log jitna tumhari piche bolegi, samjho tum tarakki kar rahe ho.(Like that)”

    Really I’m thinking I’ll see that movie.

  68. Arnab,

    How come you missed Mithun’s 60th birthday. Least I expected was that you write something.

    Now get your act together and pen some crap as usual

    Gosam

  69. grt film and good review. GB you missed out the point that himesh hired a cathedral in koln and turn it into a disco. i think the first song. German news have mentioned that an indian joker…oops actor have misused their cathedral. and another point auto’s in germany….. hey bhagwan. germany ko bachao. soon himesh would show bmw’s auto.

  70. Anonymouse-

    My intention was not to put down anyone. Also I didnt know that anyone can be put down by their choice of movies. Then, I and GB too have watched enough movies in Khanna, Society and Pradeep with lungiwalas to be put down for life. My mere aim here was deconstruction. Your point is that my analysis should be confined within the realm of the scope of the film. But a films arent screened in empty cine houses. The people’s views are very important too. If reaction to particular types of films follow a trend, then its not blasphemy to analyze that trend and get into the minds of the audience. Why do they like a particular type of film? Why does the presence of a particular person or star guarantee box office returns? Why do the trash American movies become a hit in India? When a noted critic like Ebert came to Hyderabad in 90s, he found out that the most popular western movie here was ‘Babies Day out’. It was the same inquisitiveness which led to this inquiry of his. Why are independent and documentary films so tough to popularize? Why aren’t the Bollywood blockbusters are not acclaimed outside India? And so on.

    “But the moment you say that people who watch it, those who like and those who appreciate it are in some way worse off than you, you are exhibiting the extreme narrow mindedness that we often accuse others of possessing.”

    I think I said, “And yes films like these are a social commentary on Indian masses.” The observation was quite divorced any feeling of elitism but a wry and disinterested statement. You see, sometimes pervert can mean unnatural and pregnant can just be loaded, with or without a baby. Maybe your assumptions are a tad confirmation of what you say about narrow mindedness.

    I recommend to you Ritwick ghatak’s magnificent book called “Rows and Rows of fences”. he gives such iridescent insights on these topics in that book. Somewhere in that book he says that “Raw meat is not Moglai kebab. A cook comes somewhere in between.” The cook is the director. His work has a message, an interpretation and thus the film of an honest director thus invokes both criticism and acclaim.

    “A lot of the “critically acclaimed” movies are ones that a normal person can barely sit through, and a lot of the so called b-grade movies are amazingly entertaining.”

    Exactly why the number of people who have read “The Kite Runner” is a mere fraction of the number of people who read “Harry Potter”. Nothing wrong with that. Even Casablanca is a B movie turned classic. But i think that calling this movie a B movie would be insult to many great B movies of Bollywood. Let us revise it to a C movie. Maybe D. Hitherto such movies were porn movies, where the purpose was titillation and suspension of disbelief. So when GB repeatedly brings the porn reference, he is referring to the same things.

    “It all boils down to why you watch a movie.”
    Let me change that to “It all boils down to what I anticipate the maximum number of you to watch and enjoy.” And it is here the business aspect comes into play. Why Himesh? To draw on his popularity. Why the sudden urgency to reap maximum benefits on 1st week? Its all finance. If you have a hand on the pulse on the youth and hoi polloi, its not difficult to concoct a recipe which can be speculated to resonate with the audience. The director now completely compromises his “academic integrity” (even the most bad ones have an iota of it) and spends time and effort to design this financial instrument. And voila. You have a splendid opportunity of arbitrage if you did a good job. The financial instrument derives its value from the underlying asset. By the very nature of arbitrage, more and more people would try out this instrument. But the returns are not converging to a constant. Why not? It is because the producers have seen that the demand for such recipes is almost insatiable.
    In a way there is hardly a difference between “Red Swastika” and this one. But the management of Swastika is not as cunning as the one for this film. The themes of Swastika were never going to be a smash hit in India. AKS threw in the right mix of everything which would satisfy a larger number of people. The brains behind such movies are actually remarkable sociologists who can elucidate on themes like repressed sexuality, melodrama and a strange sort of confusion among the masses. I use the word confusion in the same sense people accuse ABCDs as being confused. To me, and this is just my private inference and quite open to dispute and opprobrium, that having seen both lots, that this lot appears more confused than ABCDs. Not that the people here who patronize Superman 3 here are any less confused, again in the same sense. The week when Spiderman 3 was released here, the whole week’s return was more than the sum of the remaining films on the week’s top 10. The audience would watch it anyway, at least in the first week. That first week credit lies not with the movie or the director but the financial brains who used maximum leverage to that underlying asset’s popularity.

    “From a marketing standpoint, a director who gets watched by half the audience because they think he is good and by the other half because they think he is bad, sounds like a really successful director.”

    Thats an error. In movies like this, the director is a puppet. The mass audience doesn’t give a shit about the director. This is HR’s movie made, soaked in his latent desires. But the lion’s share of the credit goes to the businessman who funded and guided this project.

    “My point here being that,
    1. It does not really matter, this is not a documentary and the audience does not know about it and does not really care. Authenticity is not something they value, and they are not any lesser for it.”

    Sorry I cannot buy that line of thought. When you show those effects in Matrix, its believable as it is stepped in the unreal. Even in a otherwise excellent movie like “The Prestidge”, I simply could not digest the duplication thing. So in the absence of abstract ism, I find this very lousy and condemnable. Let me give you a small example. In 2001: A Space Odessey, the responses to interview with a space crew are projected as delayed. The reason- transmission time. Then why eulogize Kubrick for his fanatical attention to detail. Why give authenticity a damn! The criticism is just the other side of the same fair coin.

    Also things like “Autowallahs in germany”! Surrealism? A touch of Dali? Did I miss something? Please educate me.

    “2. Even “we” with our superior education and economic and social status do not often fare much better. We can be excused for thinking the US is the only place where your rights are read out to you.”

    Miranda rights by any other name is just the same but not Miranda rights. Such errors, made deliberately and if not intended for comic delight, is in my book quite an insult to the intelligence of the viewer.

    In summation, if the motives behind my arguments appear half-baked to you, it is probably because I am half-perceived.

    @Kishore- Thanks. And yes some porn/ soft porn films have remarkable originality. 🙂 Just watch out for GB year end reviews of the ‘best’ movies.

  71. @yourfan2
    A counter argument to your points is tough to mount and probably does not serve a definite purpose, so I will just skip it. There however, is just one point that I wish to make and that is about the way you choose to express your views. Again, the way we speak and the way we write is somehow closely tied to our personalities and reflects on our upbringing and our goals in life, but anyway, you said

    The director now completely compromises his “academic integrity” (even the most bad ones have an iota of it) and spends time and effort to design this financial instrument. And voila. You have a splendid opportunity of arbitrage if you did a good job. The financial instrument derives its value from the underlying asset. By the very nature of arbitrage, more and more people would try out this instrument. But the returns are not converging to a constant. Why not? It is because the producers have seen that the demand for such recipes is almost insatiable.

    There is a class of people who would value the above prose as being of higher quality because the average reader needs to read it 3 times to get an idea of what the author is saying. Of course, my definition of average might vary very widely from yours. I think what you mean to say here is that, there is a lot of money to be made by not being totally academic and by providing the masses with what they wish to see. And that, a lot of people would prefer to do this, since the producers know that this is true.
    My point was just that, not everyone sees movies as an opportunity to apply their intelligence, and just because they do not wish to apply it, does not mean that they don’t posses any. Did you imply that people who appreciate such movies are of inferior intelligence? Probably not. I agree with you when you say that it is probably just my perception of what you said.

  72. Hi Anonymouse,

    All the people watching such movies are definitely not idiots, but who enjoy such movies are definitely the ones with some mental problem (inferiority complex, suppressed sexual thoughts, underachievers). For years, Bollywood’s directors, or for that matters all the commercial film directors in India, never made any attempt to up their intelligence level, churning out one idiotic movie after another. Idiotic directors like Manhoman Desai, Subhash Ghai, etc., should be blamed for this. No fault in making money, but what these kind of films are offering to general public. The same sentiments and never letting them come out of the groove and just simply killed two generations’ ability to accept and appreciate a good cinema. Cinema is not just a money making instrument, it is definitely a social responsibility. Make money, but try to at least give something to audience in films. Is there any new trend in our films in the past 50 years? Is there any new theme ? Can we imagine making films like Rashomon or at least Sixth Sense. Who is responsible for making audience numb to any new change ? These masala movie directors who supplied staple food of cinemas. Once director Sudhir MIshra told a newspaper that inserting an item song in a film is just like giving heroin to youth. These money rich producers and idiotic directors never allow the average indian to grow up because they cannot supply the required goods to grown up audience. People who have access to foreing films know what good films are, but what is their percentage ?

    What I want to say is people who enjoy such films should be definitely ridiculed, booed, and humiliated in every possible way. Films of this kind are national insults. India needs cleansing of not only politics but also films and televesion because these are very powerful mass mediums and show our national character.

  73. @kishor
    At the end of the day, everybody needs to make money.
    Hence, ‘bad’ fillums ENJOYED by a vast section of bipeds (since you WILL object if I use the word ‘humanity’).

    Hollywood makes technically superior ‘bad’ films– ‘The Evil Dead’ kind. Our homegrown productions are equally cliched but the lack of ‘snazziness’ makes them abso unwatchable.

    You see, I simply adore the CGI-schmolk fillums like the Jurassic Park. Just give me a gallumphing dinosaur or two, and the story and acting can go kingdom come.

    Er, do I need a shrink?

  74. HR has revealed that he is going to tell us the reason behind him wearing the cap 24/7 in Aap Ka Surroor’s sequel.

    *shudder*

  75. @ Yourfan 2, Kishor & Anonymouse:

    1) I thought the debate was about the quality of the movie, not about the business acumen of the people who made it. There is no question that the makers of AKS have their marketing strategy right, but the real question is ‘for whom was this product created’? I can think of two categories – die-hard fans of HR who apply downward pressure on the average national IQ & a large number of risk-takers who are impelled by their curiosity quotient. I thought Yourfan & Kishor were talking about the former category. Whether they are worse-off than the rest of us is only a matter of opinion- whether you think a low IQ in general is a good or a bad thing.
    2) Judging a product by its initial popularity may not be a good idea- for most IPOs; share price will always rise, initially. The real test is how the scrip has performed in the medium/long-term, it’s very important in valuation to differentiate between what is true info and what is merely noise- in other words, make a distinction between a wave of collective curiosity and true appreciation.

  76. Hi Ravi, yes I agree with your opinion. The real worth of any product comes into light only after the initial hype settles down. That is why Rajnikanth’s Sivaji is running in empty theaters now. Yeah, the real test will be how HR’s sequel will fare. Sivaji and AKS are the best examples about how to make money by fooling the audience.

  77. Hi Swati, I agree with you, everybody needs to make a profit on their product for survival, but my objection is why they don’t try to create a product that would strain the brain of the viewers or make them think in a different way. Indian cinema has contributed and is still contribution a lot to Indian laziness. Of course, if cinema is not there, people will go to other things like gutkha, ganja, wine, etc., but cinema as an advantage over them. It can be successful in sending a message. I had been watching Telugu movies from 1980s up to 1995 and stopped watching them after that, but till date i can hardly pick 5 films worth comparing to international cinema. Same is the case with Hindia and other languages. I am not talking about special effects, I am talking about substance. There is no difference between a man after hard day’s work spending his money on ganja or on cinema. My only problem is cinema ceased to grow and still is in the state of ganja.

  78. I do not believe that the appreciating viewers of a movie somehow are of a certain IQ level because of the kind of movie it is. Apart from the fact that IQ itself is a flawed and elitist form of measurement, to say that movies you don’t approve of can only be watched by people of lower intelligence has definitely got something wrong about it.

    @Kishor about your statement that different kinds of movies are not being made in India, it is utter nonsense. There are a lot many different kinds of movies being tried. It is just that by it’s very nature, the big budget commercial movies are the ones getting maximum media attention. I am not going down the path of “have you even watched xyz?” or insinuate that somehow you are of lower intelligence for not having watched it.
    Also, just for the sake of argument, there have been Malayalam movies being made in India for years scanning the entire breadth of movie making and offering stars from Silk Smitha and the ever favourite Shakeela, all the way to the likes of Mohanlal and Shobana. You expose the very ignorance of other cultures that you accuse others on blog of having, when you do not value these. Somehow, people have had to wait for Manichitrathazhu to be remade many years later as Chandramukhi starring the Thalaivar to stand up and say “See? We can make different movies too”.

    Just because an audience agrees to suspend belief and logic does not make them inferior to you. The scale you are using to measure the intelligence of others is not calibrated right. There are different people who like different kinds of cinema and all it means is that they are different and have different likes. And while it is debatable if ALL cinema is a social responsibility, I fail to understand what social responsibility a movie like Sixth Sense exhibits.

    My favourite colour is Red, I can’t believe how anyone can appreciate Yellow. People who make yellow products have never allowed the population to grow up and locked them in to their ganja!

    Just a closing point. People who want Ganja will get it in that form or some other. I am not sure if people who make masala movies are somehow cultivating the taste in the viewers, and if like Doordarshan used to, giving the viewer 3 options of what I think is good cinema, so that they are beaten into submission and into accepting my point of view, is the best path to follow.

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  80. @Kishore
    “All the people watching such movies are definitely not idiots, but who enjoy such movies are definitely the ones with some mental problem (inferiority complex, suppressed sexual thoughts, underachievers)”.
    Was just wondering if Amitabh Bachchcan or Yash chopra or Naseeruddin, for some reason made a statement that AKS was a good movie…well!
    IMO, its not rational to categorize people based on the movies they enjoy. I do agree that it is dependent on a gamut of factors, attitude,education, gender,geographical location but perhaps the most important factor is “mood”.
    e.g.,normally, on any other day,had somebody made me watch “Taxi No.9211”, I’d have frowned at them.Watching it when I was low, let me enjoy it. I still count it to be a good movie and that is irrespective of what the box office statistics are.

    @Kishore
    “Make money, but try to at least give something to audience in films.”

    Make high flying comments, but try at least to give some constructive feedback to film makers.

    @Kishore
    “What I want to say is people who enjoy such films should be definitely ridiculed, booed, and humiliated in every possible way. Films of this kind are national insults.”

    and how exactly should people who make “this” kinda comments about others be treated? Dude, this definitely is a democratic country. If YOU have the freedom of expression, in the way that you write this sorta boorish junk and bellow in public with your judgements about movies, movie makers,audience, etc., probably audience have the freedom to watch whatever appeals to them and film makers, to produce movies to suit their taste.

    dont want to make this a too long. I agree with Swathi when she says everybody wants to make money.

    @anonymouse
    “Just because an audience agrees to suspend belief and logic does not make them inferior to you”
    I could not agree more with this.
    @Kishore
    Last but not the least, talking about telugu movies, well its immensely sad and unfortunate on your part to miss out on some awesome movies, and mind you, they werent the typical masala chat kind. Mebbe its high time you keep your eyes and ears open to sensible Indian movies rather than hallucinating about the firangee fillums. Well, why at all compare Indian with others. Lagaan was nominated for Oscar and the only reason why it dint make it was ‘supposed’ to be its “Bollywoodism” in the form songs which none on the other side of the globe could appreciate. That doesnt make it any inferior to award winners!Aamir himself said, if they want our films without songs and dance sequences, why at all should we oblige? We are making movies for “our” entertainment.
    So, that sums it up. different folks, different strokes!

  81. @ Anonymouse :
    1) Sure, IQ is a flawed and an elitist measure, but we don’t have anything better to measure raw intellectual horsepower. All your competitive exams are variants of an IQ test.
    2) I don’t think Cinema has any social responsibility( I agree with you there), it just happens to be in the business of providing entertainment to different customer segments and all I am saying is that a lot of us are not in the target segment for AKS. About the customer segment of AKS, obviously, I am entitled to my opinion and here is why I hold that opinion. I find it a little hard to believe that fan(atic)s who -build temples for their heroes/heroines and are ready to die for them, exhibit bizarre behavior during the screening of the movie, demonstrate violent symptoms when their hero is criticized- are normal, intelligent people. You will find that HR’s fan base pre-dominantly consists of these kinds of people. How do I know? Anecdotal evidence & a couple of days before the movie’s release, Rediff carried a headline that autos may not be available on the release date since all the autowallahas are likely to be in the theatres. You can call me elitist, but I think you are just being politically correct. If I appreciate a Martin Scorsese’s movie and you like a Himesh Reshammiya’s movie, it is not equivalent to saying I like red and you like yellow. Your assumption of a flat world is true only if we are talking of comparable things- AKS & Red Swastika for example. In your world-view, there is no incentive for creating quality (however subjectively defined) because even a b-grade movie is just ‘different, not necessarily inferior. Lastly, I would like to invite any HR fan to explain to me why he/she liked AKS. I can explain why I liked ‘The Departed’.

  82. Hi Celeste, everybody knows the movie-making acumen of Yash Chopra and Amitab and there would be no surprise if they say AKS is a good movie, but I would bet my life that Naseeruddin Shah would never say AKS is a good movie. And what constructive feedback u can give to the film maker when the film made has no pillars. Yes, you are talking about freedom and I am talking about substance. If you observe the hit movies from the last 40 years, every hit movie can be patternalized into 2 categories, revenge & sentimental drama or love story. There would be nothing new in any film. Same case in every language. And even there would not be any difference in presentation. In what would one put a population, which enjoys these repetitive farces?

    The silliest explanation we get from Indian film makers is tastes are different in Hollywood and Bollywood. This is the most stupid explanation just to hide our inability to make a good cinema. If tastes are so different, why many Hollywood films are blockbusters in India and why so many Hollywood movies are re-made in India ? Why nobody watches our movies in West except NRIs ? The thing is we cannot make a good movie. We try to compensate that by inserting good songs and dances and good looking heroines.

    Hi Ravi Ivaturi, I completely agree with ur comment above. I fully support your view.

  83. @Anonymouse-

    “Of course, my definition of average might vary very widely from yours. I think what you mean to say here is that, there is a lot of money to be made by not being totally academic and by providing the masses with what they wish to see. And that, a lot of people would prefer to do this, since the producers know that this is true.”

    It is actually not so straightforward. Had it been so then many all masala movies would have been superhits. Some of them dont do well at all. Some do resonate really well. Its an indication to what clicks with the masses is not actually so definite and concrete, but rather subjective. Any director would be lying if he didnt speculate audience reaction, but that should not stop him from doing his movie in his own way, rather than trying to induct a whole gamut of emotions to make a movie which sacrifices all efforts of original creation. Take a movie like “The Big Lebowski”. I like that movie as behind its apparent naivety, it gives insights into slacker life and many other things. It is also a homage to that great Howard Hawks movie, “The Big Sleep”.
    In movies like AKS, the producer tries to throw everything into the mix so that his returns gave market returns, even if he didnt beat the market. It is like buying the s&p 500 index. He was hoping that the cult following of HR would help this movie to beat the market. The moment he saw great first week returns, hes confident enough to do the sequel. Himesh’s own comment below is a confirmation of this.

    “In your film, you were serious because of the unfortunate death of your brother due to brain hemorrhage. But I’m sure your fans are dying to know the secret of the cap: why do you wear the cap all the time?

    You will get the answer in my sequel to Aap Ka Surroor. I will reveal to the audience why I wear a cap in the film in the sequel. ”

    So its not actually providing the masses with what they want to see. These people are not so altruistic. It is “I’m trying my best to speculate that what I will show will match what you enjoy. This in turn is my best bet to maximize return. Of course my sole purpose of making this movie is just that.”

    The film itself doesn’t stand for anything. Nobody would remember it a year from now. It has no story and it is no tribute, no symbolism, no allegory and far removed from reality. Even a common man in the midst of his escape from reality, would seldom visualize so far fetched. It is actually a great output of self aggrandizement wrapped in the cloak of a masala movie. Of course, it is a well designed financial instrument.

    “My point was just that, not everyone sees movies as an opportunity to apply their intelligence, and just because they do not wish to apply it, does not mean that they don’t posses any. Did you imply that people who appreciate such movies are of inferior intelligence? Probably not.”

    I never used the word intelligence. You introduced it. I think you read my comment with terms like inferior/superior intelligence, IQ etc buzzing in your mind as I certainly never hinted/ implied them. I only used the word ‘confused’ and I explained why I did so. The masses can only appreciate what they get. In the absence of competition from other types of movies, there is little effort for differentiation. Also, I don’t think people would watch just anything thrown at them. But as you say, if they leave their discerning minds back at home when they come to the theater, then any set of moving pictures sequenced in a particular way stands a fair chance of making box office success. We are then back to square one as to why such pictures are made (sorry designed) in the first place.

  84. @Ravi Ivaturi-

    Liked both of your comments. Very nice points.

    “I thought the debate was about the quality of the movie, not about the business acumen of the people who made it. ” The lack of quality of the movie actually stimulates discussion about the enterprise to make the movie.

    “Judging a product by its initial popularity may not be a good idea- for most IPOs; share price will always rise, initially. The real test is how the scrip has performed in the medium/long-term, it’s very important in valuation to differentiate between what is true info and what is merely noise- in other words, make a distinction between a wave of collective curiosity and true appreciation.”

    True. Many movies have been appreciated in hindsight, some after DVD release. But from an investor’s point of view, if he meets or exceeds his desired target in first few weeks, the long term effects are redundant. But because the ‘market’ is not efficient, it takes some time to react, and a quick but substantial trade can me made in the meanwhile.

    “Anecdotal evidence & a couple of days before the movie’s release, Rediff carried a headline that autos may not be available on the release date since all the autowallahas are likely to be in the theatres. You can call me elitist, but I think you are just being politically correct. If I appreciate a Martin Scorsese’s movie and you like a Himesh Reshammiya’s movie, it is not equivalent to saying I like red and you like yellow. Your assumption of a flat world is true only if we are talking of comparable things- AKS & Red Swastika for example. In your world-view, there is no incentive for creating quality (however subjectively defined) because even a b-grade movie is just ‘different, not necessarily inferior. Lastly, I would like to invite any HR fan to explain to me why he/she liked AKS. I can explain why I liked ‘The Departed’.”

    Excellent point.

  85. @Kishor- Some fine points and I understand your pain.

    “Once director Sudhir MIshra told a newspaper that inserting an item song in a film is just like giving heroin to youth.”

    At the expense of mutilating the movie, if the moment does not deserve a song. Nobody hates music in songs, but a well scored background music is different from a forced item number. I was talking with GB about ‘City of God’ and he said that such a movie could have been produced in our country too if the movie making people were a bit more honest. True. But a movie like that doesn’t deserve a song number. You simply cannot insert a ‘dancing around trees’ song into that movie without distorting the theme. Now if there is a constraint of including a minimum of such songs, then you get a really complex and ‘confused’ product. Maybe we are really unable to fathom such complexity. Maybe we are simpletons.

  86. Hi yourfan2:

    “The masses can only appreciate what they get. In the absence of competition from other types of movies, there is little effort for differentiation. Also, I don’t think people would watch just anything thrown at them. But as you say, if they leave their discerning minds back at home when they come to the theater, then any set of moving pictures sequenced in a particular way stands a fair chance of making box office success. We are then back to square one as to why such pictures are made (sorry designed) in the first place.”

    Very brilliant observation.

  87. @Kishore
    well, was trying to drive home the point that perhaps it not right to ridicule someone on the basis of their taste. Coming to film having no pillars, like yourfan2 said, we are back to square one here.
    I’d disagree with your point that every successful movie in the past belongs to the category of either revenge/sentimental drama or love story. Where would place RDB or Page 3? Now,for chrissake dont tell me these were movies meant for revenge against the existing system.
    @Ravi
    “If I appreciate a Martin Scorsese’s movie and you like a Himesh Reshammiya’s movie, it is not equivalent to saying I like red and you like yellow. Your assumption of a flat world is true only if we are talking of comparable things- AKS & Red Swastika for example”
    Ravi, though I agree to your point that we ought to be talking of comparables, I think what one percieves to be comparable is a highly subjective aspect. For example, when you talked about liking Red or Yellow not being comparable to liking HR’s or Martin’s movie, probably they are. I might like Red in fabric but yellow on the walls, but here we are comparing colours. I might enjoy Martin’s work in solitude but HR’s with friends. Here we are comparing the movies , not the genre. Mebbe I’m wrong in understanding what you’ve tried to put forth but from whatever I could gather, this is how I think of it.

  88. @Kishore
    I’b believe Celina Jaitley winning National award in the best actress category but I’d never believe Naseeruddin saying AKS was a good movie. But, if you read the entire sentence again, you’d understand why I said so. As for movie making acumen of Amitabh, probably I need some real good help in finding anything other than ‘acting’ acumen in the actor.

  89. @ Celeste:

    I am not denying that AKS (& HR) has entertainment value- sure you can watch AKS with your friends to beat the office blues. But the all-important difference between you and the die-hard fan is that you would be laughing at Himeseh Bhai unlike the fan who’s in awe of his hero. When Jack Nicholson says (in ‘The Departed’), “I don’t want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me”, you are in awe of him. That’s a dialogue to die for. When you hear a dialogue like (in ‘AKS’), ‘ He has no starry attitude, Koi Dikhawa Naheen”, you want to die of laughter.

    This is what I meant by ‘ AKS & The Departed are not comparables’

  90. As usual your review is brilliant, it’s a treat. Who cares if a movie is good, bad or ugly…as long as you keep reminding us of dialogues from Loha, it’s bliss.

  91. But as always Himesh remains second best.

    Himesh’s debut is not is not half as bad as his rival, Sonu Nigam’s debut “Jaani Dushman.”

  92. such a movie could have been produced in our country too if the movie making people were a bit more honest

  93. Journalist Subhash K Jha had this to write about our dear old Himesh

    “Himesh has made the nose a tool of erotic expression. In his hands, the nose attains a near-phallic status, akin to Jimmy Hendrix’s guitar or Ravi Shankar’s sitar”

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Cities/City_Supplements/Bombay_Times/Its_a_nosy_affair/articleshow/2198112.cms

    reading this
    http://lifestyle.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-2211075,curpg-1.cms

    would perhaps explain why Mr. Jha took such a liking to Himesh’s Nose…

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  96. hats off to ur cap himesh which bought a great life for u in d music world. n iwish u to get all your movies hit hit hit n superhit

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