I just love the Bajrang Dal and their women’s wing Durga Bahini. Not only do they tirelessly uphold our Hindu traditions day in and day out, they also provide us moments of unalloyed mirth.
Bajrang Dal activists out to spoil celebration of love on Valentine’s Day made a couple sitting in a Bhopal park tie the knot and blackened the face of a foreigner. It, however, emerged later that the saffron brigade had wrongly caught a married couple.
In other words, quoting from that source of all knowledge “Gunda”, someone should tell the Bajrang Dal “Abbe nanhe-munhe, mare hue ko kyon maar rahe ho?”
Needless to say, the police were quick to discover a deep-rooted conspiracy here.
The police later claimed the episode was a “drama” staged by the Bajrang Dal. “The couple had tied the knot four months back and Divya is the a (sic) member of Bajrang Dal’s women’s wing – Durga Vahini,” a police said
Of course, this was all bull.
Bajrang Dal, however, denied the charge. “If they were married for four months, why did they meet in a park, under a tree on Valentine’s Day?
Indeed. Married people would never want to sit in a park, that too under a tree and share a romantic moment. They are always at home on Valentine’s Day fighting over whose turn it is to wash the dishes and who started the arguement.
This year of course to the three ring circus of card-burning, face-blackening and street marriages is added the arrival of India’s “love messiah” 54 year old, Shrimaan Batuknath, the “Mohabbatein” chair professor of love, and his paramour graduate assistant 24 year old Julie.
People would remember Batuknath upholding the highest standards of academic and marital ethics by having an affair with his student and then getting beaten up by his wife on national television, where the only thing that was left in the tamashaa was to have “Humme biwi naheen mangta, humme saali naheen mangta, humme Sandra from Bandra naheen mangta. To kaun maangta? Julie Julie” playing in the background.
Most noted for arriving in Ujjain on Rangpanchami in camaflogue terrorist-like fatigues, Batuknath’s appearance in Mumbai is ,needless to say, for a noble cause–namely to try to convince Raj Thackeray to “feel the love” and call off his agitation against North Indians. Just like Peter came back to Rome to save the Christians from being persecuted by Nero.
The self promotion for Batuknath that follows in the wake of his actions is of course purely co-incidental.
In all, a day of much merriment.
As the namesake of the good professor, Batuknath Lalan Prasad Malpaani from the movie “Chaalbaaz” (played by Shakti Kapoor) would say:
Baj gayee citi