The Phantom Menace


With chapters of my book having come back with edits and with a new chapter I have been working on together with talking to the cover designer, I have been on a blog-break of late.

However when sensational things like Arundhati Roy justifying the reign of terror unleashed by the Naxals and Kamal Khan hurling a waterbottle at designer delicate-flower Rohit Verma (who weeps like somebody has died when asked to cook) on Big Boss Tritiyaa happen then I am forced to break the silence.

Sensational yes. Surprising no. After all both Ms. Roy and Mr. Khan push the envelope of outrageousness for the expressed purpose of self-promotion, a game known as Rakhiopoly wherein one is forced to continually raise the bar of provocativeness in order to keep oneself in the public gaze.

Continue Reading »


The Gully Cricket League


I presume that rarely in my many years on this planet have I been as disinterested in the cricket that is on offer than I have been over the last few weeks. The Champions League has been on and I could not care less. There is Duminy from South Africa (and a Mumbai Indian) representing a South African T20 team facing off against fellow South African Jack Kallis wearing a Bangalore  jersey. Then there is Gibbs from Deccan Chargers who does not turn up for the team we associate him with but for a different franchise. If Delhi Daredevils had advanced and New South Wales had not, then would David Warner switch loyalties midway through the tournament and turn out for his IPL team?

Continue Reading »

In Defense Of Bangali Men


Recently the Telegraph, a Kolkata-based newspaper published what I can only consider an attack piece on Bangali men in the same vein that Karan Johar attacked Marathi manoos by using the “B” word in “Wake Up Sid”.

It is just because we Bengali men do not have a Raj Thackeray in our midst that Telegraph can get away with this. In an ideal world, we would have an army of MNS  (“Moonmoon and Nirad Chowdhury Shoinyo”) supporters throwing smelly “shoontki maach” in front of Telegraph offices till the said reporter apologized and the paper retracted this insulting article. But since most Bangalis have no energy left over from burning buses and singing along with Babur Suman to protest on the things that matter, namely the vilification and the emasculation of the Bongosontan, nothing like this will happen.

Given that,  let me make my humble attempt to frisk this piece as a representative of those who have been so ridiculed.

Continue Reading »

The Obama Lama


The founder of Miss World Eric Morley’s estate must be wondering which wrong turn the late Mr. Morley took in life to not have gotten the Nobel Peace Prize. After all there is perhaps noone in the world who has done as much as him in providing a platform for attractive people to spew warm air about “world peace”.

Because today the Nobel Committee officially announced that that’s all you need to do in order to get a Nobel Prize. That is you need to be a good-looking person with a nice deep baritone who just “talks” about disarmament and world peace. Obama’s achievements on the world stage, and I challenge his biggest supporters to show otherwise, has been nyada.

Zilch. Zip.

He has given one flowery speech to the “Islamic nations”, he has mollycoddled Pakistan (as expected) by giving them massive amounts of aid with the full knowledge that it will be used to promote terror in India, he has sat for months on sending more troops to Afghanistan and he has pandered to China by refusing to meet a “deserving” Nobel Peace Prize winner, Dalai Lama.

Continue Reading »

Hawa Desi


Welcome to Hawa Desi, the airlines which promises you “Hawa Hawa Khusboo Luta Dey” everywhere in the plane, totally Desi style.

We would like to extend a special warm welcome to any Hawa Desi executive, politician or administrative bigwig or  his wife, daughter, son, son’s wife, daughter’s husband, their sons and daughters, their cousins and their transitive closure thereof,  who might be traveling with us today “free of cost” —–remember yeh aap ka baap ka plane hai.  If anyone of you havent been upgraded to business or first class yet, please get in touch with a member of the crew who will be happy to help you and polish your shoes so you so please.

Continue Reading »