The Tragedy of the Great Indian Family

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There is nothing much left to be said about the Rizwanur Rehman case that has not already found mention in all the Orkut communities, blogs, email forwards, online petitions, media coverage and government sound-bytes regarding the administrative shakeups (the removal of the Police Commissioner and transferring of concerned police officials) that the tragic case has brought in its wake. [For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, this wikipedia page gives you a brief overview of the case that has rocked West Bengal for the past month or so.]

In this day and age when we claim to have become “modern” (where modernity has sadly been defined as wearing skirts, talking in English and downloading ringtones), the fact that such a positively medieval thing can actually happen in a supposedly progressive city like Calcutta has left many of us in the educated middle-class elite angry and surprised.

Angry at the violence and the futile loss of life. Understandable. Angry at the police openly claiming to be able to bend the Constitution as they pleased. Again understandable.

But should we really be so surprised?

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Cop A Feel

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Paidal chal raha hoon, ek gaari chahiye,
Jeevan ke safaar main ek sawari chahiye,
Akela hain Mr. Khiladi,
Miss Khiladi chahiye. —
Mr and Mrs. Khiladi

All you hot “babes” (as per Hindustan Times lingo)—it’s time that you used your mini-skirts, tank tops, assorted accessories and most-of-all your knowledge of the Page 3 side of the force for the good of the country.

How?

By going on a date with this man. And his other cohorts.

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The Passing Of a Friend —Desibaba

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[Originally published November 13, 2005. Reposted because of technical difficulties experienced by many in accessing the old post]

It is with a heavy heart that I have to announce the death of an old friend.

Desibaba is no more.

Desi Baba Desi Babes
Is closed till further notice.
Copyright © 1998 – 2005 DesiBaba.com

For those who came in late, Desibaba was the original Indian porn site. But it wasnt merely a “porn site”—it was a landmark in desi pop culture.

Let me explain.

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Skeleton in the Wardrobe

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Chunari gayee Sarak sarak sarak

–Devdas (2002)

Shocking. Simply shocking. Unless you have been living under a Stone, you should know by now about the cataclysmic attack that was inflicted on Indian culture and our traditional way of life during Lakme India Fashion week.

Yes I am referring to the wardrobe malfunctions of Carol Gracias and Gauhar Khan which lay bare to the watching eyes of millions a set of female breasts and a woman’s derrière.

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The Shayan Munshi in All of Us

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Shayan Munshi is a model-turned-failed-actor who thinks that the most pressing issue in front of India is the condition of roads.

The one main problem plaguing India, according to me, is poor roads. There should be a law to level all roads. Due to overpopulation, the traffic seems to increase even more. This is an immediate concern as we use these roads daily. It would make living better.

He is also a murderer—or at the very least an accessory. Unless you have been living under a rock, you know the story— Jessica Lal, a model, was murdered in a restaurant called Tamarind Court where she was the celebrity bartender for refusing to serve drinks to an inebriated son-of-a-minister, Manu Sharma. Despite being shot dead in front of so many people and then fleeing the scene of the crime, Manu Sharma and his associates were set free—-thanks to collusion on the part of the police (who intentionally botched evidence) and because Shayan Munshi, who was present when the murder took place, retracted his evidence—thereby letting a murderer walk away: laughing.

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Valentine's Day

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On this Valentine’s day buy a diamond for the special woman in your life—-it will be something she will remember for ever.

I let out a small imprecation under my breath as I heard this on the radio while driving home from work. Not because I had not bought a diamond for my wife (I am a big miser) but because of the way the media brainwashes us into believing that love is directly proportional to the cash you spend on the object of your affections. And that a diamond is the best way of expressing what’s in your heart.

Why a diamond? Why not bubblegum?

Because it’s the most expensive thing you can think of.

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Powerplay

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I cant tell you how depressed this picture made me feel. (from Indiauncut).

So what’s going on in this picture to the left?

Let’s see what Amit who took this picture says.

“At one point, Raj Singh Dungarpur, the team’s manager, got Wasim Jaffer’s attention and pushed his glass towards him. He wanted Jaffer to pour water into it. Jaffer politely obliged.”

Am I depressed on account of Raj Singh Dungarpur’s imperious regal air, the fact that he does not even acknowledge Jaffer’s action with a glance—instead staring straight on like a Sultan watching a mujra while his wine goblet is refilled by an underling?

No I am not.

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