I am, by nature, not a violent man and so do not believe in retaliating angrily to every provocation or perceived injustice.
But sometimes, just sometimes, something happens that totally makes me lose my cool and lash out with righteous anger and vengeance.
I am referring to Biharsharif MLA Sunil Kumar Singh’s, chairman of some organization acronymed BIMPA (Bihar-Jharkhand Motion Pictures Association), imposed ban on the showing of any movie that stars Mithun Chakraborty in the states of Bihar and Uttar Pradesh since April.
If Mr. Singh’s goonda-gardi had been restricted to just Prabhuji I would still have been been angry but perhaps not as frothing at the mouth like I am now. But no, that dark agent of Sauron has gone further and even banned movies of Mithun-putra Mahashakti-shaali, God of all things, Mimoh. (not that Mimoh has any movies released but that’s not the point)
For those of you ignorant enough to be reading this for the first time, here is the background.
Mithun-da did a Bengali movie called “Coolie” produced by one Sunil Singh. Just like all Mithun movies, it was a critically acclaimed megahit. Secure in the knowledge that he has a money-maker in his hands, this producer Mr. Singh went and dubbed the movie in Bhojpuri without seeking permission from Mithun-da and poor Prabhuji was left without any share of the new revenue.
Naturally he was furious. I would be too if I suddenly saw my posts being translated into Bhojpuri under the name “Randomwa Bakchodi“. [Because noone in their right mind would accept an affront to Prabhuji, Bollywood has decided not to shoot in these two states till the ban on Mithun and Mimoh is lifted.]
Needless to say I also cannot sit silent. So here’s what I am going to do, in support of my God. As long as this ban on Mithun-da remains in the states of Bihar and UP, there will be a “tit-for-tat” ban on Bhojpuri songs here at RTDM. Yes I know. I have done a lot in promoting Bhojpuri talent in the past and while I have no beef with the individual artists, I think a line has been crossed and action is needed. So Rasia Tailor, kindly take your dus minot blouses elsewhere. Buchi darling, I couldn’t care less if your seal has been tampered with. Bhojpuri spice girls, take your kasam se gol gol nimboodas elsewhere—I am not interested in them even if you dangle them in my face.
[Lest I forget, I should say thanks to Bipasa Basu for endorsing the intellectual content in Mithun-da’s movies.
I grew up partly in Delhi and Kolkata. I was more of a bookworm and was quite academically inclined. Rather, I was more clued in to Mithun Chakraborty’s films.
So angry am I that not only have I imposed a ban on Bhojpuri entertainment, I shall also take this opportunity to promote their competition.
First, there is this [video link] awesomely picturized Sambalpuri (Oriya) video (Chum Chum) that depicts a typical evening in one of Sambalpur’s hottest nightclubs—Dilkhush bar (the font makes it look like Dickhush), undoubtedly the world’s trendiest drinking hole that has an asbestos roof. A simple song of a girl whose legs are burning (kodomo puriya jaaye), it blends in rustic steps and techno effects in a way that can only be called truly eclectic.
And then there are these two videos from the heart of Jat-land (thanks Thalassa) . The first from the mega hit album “Bulbul ka baccha” that etches a typical picture from a Jat wedding where the handsome best man is dancing and asking the groom to “kar de joogar” (provide them) with his attractive sister-in-laws. [video link]
And the second is a video [video link] about Jatt pride —” I am made in Ludhiana. I am made in Haryana” where the hero, and his dirty dancing friends, entreat the modestly dressed heroine to recognize the “real deal”.
Now that I have dealt a blow to the Bhojpuri entertainment industry with my own ban and by the promotion of its competitors, let me now conclude with some insights that should put the fear of Prabhu-ji in the people at BIMPA.
It has been revealed (link) that Mithun-da has not bathed for a week, in preparation for a role. Which means that he is now totally a tiger—in looks, growls, attitude and even smell. [Question: The buzz is that you didn’t take a bath for over a week for that lost look in the film, Ekta Nadir Galpo…Mithun: I am sincere in whatever I do (laughs).]
And we all know what happens to people who take pangas with tigers.
Also lastly, dear Mr Singh. While illegally dubbing your movie into Bhojpuri, didn’t you even understand the threat from Mithunda that was implied in a song from that very film:[video link]
Thanda mathaye thaaki bole danda dekash na,
Rongbaaji ta bhaloi jaani seta bhoolish na,
Matka gorom hole mama,
Kauke chaari na.
Which roughly (I have added my own embellishments in order to convey the sense of what is being said) translates to:
Just because I keep my head cool,
Do not show me your aggressive tool,
Do not get forget oh Mr. tough,
I also know how to play rough,
Uncle, when my head is no longer calm,
Prepare to apply on your ass: Jhandu balm.
Be afraid Mr. Singh. Be very afraid.