A Ban Is Imposed

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I am, by nature, not a violent man and so do not believe in retaliating angrily to every provocation or perceived injustice.

But sometimes, just sometimes, something happens that totally makes me lose my cool and lash out with righteous anger and vengeance.

I am referring to Biharsharif MLA Sunil Kumar Singh’s, chairman of some organization acronymed BIMPA (Bihar-Jharkhand Motion Pictures Association), imposed ban on the showing of any movie that stars Mithun Chakraborty in the states of Bihar and Uttar Pradesh since April.

If Mr. Singh’s goonda-gardi had been restricted to just Prabhuji I would still have been been angry but perhaps not as frothing at the mouth like I am now. But no, that dark agent of Sauron has gone further and even banned movies of Mithun-putra Mahashakti-shaali, God of all things, Mimoh. (not that Mimoh has any movies released but that’s not the point)

For those of you ignorant enough to be reading this for the first time, here is the background.

Mithun-da did a Bengali movie called “Coolie” produced by one Sunil Singh. Just like all Mithun movies, it was a critically acclaimed megahit. Secure in the knowledge that he has a money-maker in his hands, this producer Mr. Singh went and dubbed the movie in Bhojpuri without seeking permission from Mithun-da and poor Prabhuji was left without any share of the new revenue.

Naturally he was furious. I would be too if I suddenly saw my posts being translated into Bhojpuri under the name “Randomwa Bakchodi“. [Because noone in their right mind would accept an affront to Prabhuji, Bollywood has decided not to shoot in these two states till the ban on Mithun and Mimoh is lifted.]

Needless to say I also cannot sit silent. So here’s what I am going to do, in support of my God. As long as this ban on Mithun-da remains in the states of Bihar and UP, there will be a “tit-for-tat” ban on Bhojpuri songs here at RTDM. Yes I know. I have done a lot in promoting Bhojpuri talent in the past and while I have no beef with the individual artists, I think a line has been crossed and action is needed. So Rasia Tailor, kindly take your dus minot blouses elsewhere. Buchi darling, I couldn’t care less if your seal has been tampered with. Bhojpuri spice girls, take your kasam se gol gol nimboodas elsewhere—I am not interested in them even if you dangle them in my face.

[Lest I forget, I should say thanks to Bipasa Basu for endorsing the intellectual content in Mithun-da’s movies.

I grew up partly in Delhi and Kolkata. I was more of a bookworm and was quite academically inclined. Rather, I was more clued in to Mithun Chakraborty’s films.

]

So angry am I that not only have I imposed a ban on Bhojpuri entertainment, I shall also take this opportunity to promote their competition.

First, there is this [video link] awesomely picturized Sambalpuri (Oriya) video (Chum Chum) that depicts a typical evening in one of Sambalpur’s hottest nightclubs—Dilkhush bar (the font makes it look like Dickhush), undoubtedly the world’s trendiest drinking hole that has an asbestos roof. A simple song of a girl whose legs are burning (kodomo puriya jaaye), it blends in rustic steps and techno effects in a way that can only be called truly eclectic.

And then there are these two videos from the heart of Jat-land (thanks Thalassa) . The first from the mega hit album “Bulbul ka baccha” that etches a typical picture from a Jat wedding where the handsome best man is dancing and asking the groom to “kar de joogar” (provide them) with his attractive sister-in-laws. [video link]

And the second is a video [video link] about Jatt pride —” I am made in Ludhiana. I am made in Haryana” where the hero, and his dirty dancing friends, entreat the modestly dressed heroine to recognize the “real deal”.

Now that I have dealt a blow to the Bhojpuri entertainment industry with my own ban and by the promotion of its competitors, let me now conclude with some insights that should put the fear of Prabhu-ji in the people at BIMPA.

It has been revealed (link) that Mithun-da has not bathed for a week, in preparation for a role. Which means that he is now totally a tiger—in looks, growls, attitude and even smell. [Question: The buzz is that you didn’t take a bath for over a week for that lost look in the film, Ekta Nadir Galpo…Mithun: I am sincere in whatever I do (laughs).]

And we all know what happens to people who take pangas with tigers.

Also lastly, dear Mr Singh. While illegally dubbing your movie into Bhojpuri, didn’t you even understand the threat from Mithunda that was implied in a song from that very film:[video link]

Thanda mathaye thaaki bole danda dekash na,
Rongbaaji ta bhaloi jaani seta bhoolish na,
Matka gorom hole mama,
Kauke chaari na.

Which roughly (I have added my own embellishments in order to convey the sense of what is being said) translates to:

Just because I keep my head cool,
Do not show me your aggressive tool,
Do not get forget oh Mr. tough,
I also know how to play rough,
Uncle, when my head is no longer calm,
Prepare to apply on your ass: Jhandu balm.

Be afraid Mr. Singh. Be very afraid.

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74 thoughts on “A Ban Is Imposed

  1. Poor Mr. Singh. Feel sorry for him now. Prepare a very short obit:

    “Here lies Mr. Singh. He woke the tiger…and slept forever.”

  2. “Randomwa Bakchodi“

    That is so hilarious .. !! Lol ..I am still LMAO … on that one ..!! Been a while since I heard “Bakchodi“ .. T’was so common back in college days .. 🙂

    And the videos were just too funny ..!!

  3. This is totally diabolical. I am saddened to note this violent rape of copyright issues in a land like India. On my part, I vow not to imitate the Bhojpuri accent, or use it to woo women till this ban is lifted. I am sure this will affect the number of chics I pick up at clubs greatly, but I just want to do what is right here and show my utmost solidarity for Prabhuji. I also plan to blast Bapi Da’s kirtan from Prabhuji’s films at even greater decibels from the stereo of my car as part of the adult education project that I have undertaken in my community. Mr. Singh Haye Haye!

  4. Remember “Dadar Kirti”???
    “Eto dubo jahaj re..dube dube jol khay”…
    This people always underestimate the power of Prabhuji..
    You just wait and watch…

  5. @Arnab :

    A funny one like this that too concerning Prabhu-ji was long overdue.

    Absolutely hilarious !!! 😀

    ‘Randomwa Bakchodi’ — Awesome. 🙂

    ‘Kodomo Puriya jaye’ — Ultimate !!!
    KOTOKO SHOHORO BORO MONOHORO. (The city of Cuttack is mind blowing). We used to tease Oriyas in our college by saying this. Typed it JLT. 🙂

  6. ‘Randomwa Bakchodi’ … hhahahahahaha

    And a million Thanks for introducing me to the non bhojpuri creative Indian talent!!

    Jai ho .. Jai ho .. Prabhuji ki Jai Ho !!

  7. Just because I keep my head cool,
    Do not show me your aggressive tool,
    Do not get forget oh Mr. tough,
    I also know how to play rough,
    Uncle, when my head is no longer calm,
    Prepare to apply on your ass: Jhandu balm.

    And This year’s Booker Prize goes to Arnab Ray for a scintillating translation of a very famous Bengali Poem…

  8. ……and that too after Prabhuji has played bhojpuri characters with such distinction in scores of movies like Dalaal etc…

    this sunil babua has no gratitude….anyway very soon he will come crawling back to prabhujis feet

  9. Oh no, I am in two minds now. On one hand, we consider Mithun as South Indian because he set up the biggest film industry after Hollywood in Ooty, South India, and worked with many South Indian directors and rehabilitated many fat South Indian actresses. But on the other hand, Bhojpuri industry is rehabilitating all the South Indian heroines who are past their expiry date and look just like pumpkins. Oh God!, what to do ?

  10. By the way, just reading Bipasha’s interview, I have no doubt that here is an opportunity for Prabhuji to add another feather to his cap, John or no John. Or if he wishes, he can blindfold her and bring Mimoh into the attack. I have no doubt that Mithun was adolescent Bip’s bad boy knight fantasy. No surprise she didn’t say a single word about poor Prosenjit. 🙂

    So Bipasha believes in Mithunism too. GB, do you recall seeing this deeply religious girl in any of the run-down lungi halls when you were in college? Pity there was no Orkut Mithun fan club back then.

  11. GB, that was truly hilarious. Indeed, if you keep promoting such hidden gems on ur blog, it will be the death knell for the Bhojpuri industry. Sambhalwood can any day give rasiya tailor a run for his money…….

    Looking forward to more hidden gems from the heartland and/or jaatland.

  12. Please SOS ..

    Can someone translate the Bagpiper -Seal song in hindi or english, I have listened to it couple to times now but only words I can decipher are choli, seal and bagpiper.

    Yes I agree, Mithun has played so many bhojpuri characters, whatever bhojpuri slang we know is from Mithun and Govinda.

  13. One of the Funniest post in a while 🙂 Needless to say that As a Bihari (and as Bhojpuriya)I am just dissapointed at greatbong’s overreaction and at his decision to ban bhojpuri films from RTDM. Please reconsider.

  14. @All: I should have mentioned and apologies for not doing that: the word “Bakchodi” was not my idea–it was Rohit’s (of Retributions fame). I asked him on Gtalk what would look good after Randomwa and he suggested Bakchodi. So all thanks to him for that delightful word.

  15. Alright, alright !! Kudos to Rohit for coming up with the most hilarious phrase ( 2 words, but powerful nevertheless) this year .. atleast for me 🙂

    I laugh out loud everytime I read that .. !! Thats just too damm funny ..

    Ppl at work are staring at me with weird looks .. thanks for the laugh guys .. 🙂

  16. This gives me an idea….i am going to call my blog greatgujju.net….with “Randomwa Bakchodi” as the sub-title….i am so original…wow

    great post….

  17. Thanks GB for introducing me to this genre of music videos. I think I need to steal some of those moves for my next choreography – how’s that for payback?

  18. Some sick crackhead used my moniker to post the last message

    *******************************************
    This gives me an idea….i am going to call my blog greatgujju.net….with “Randomwa Bakchodi” as the sub-title….i am so original…wow

    great post….
    ******************************************
    whoever it is, could you try to develop your brain from “diaper days”?

    @GB: any suggestion/action to prevent this from happening?

  19. @GB: There’s something wrong with the comments section. This is ArSENik and it is converting me to GreatGujju!

    @GGujju: Whoever it was that ‘stole’ your identity didn’t do it on purpose as you can see.

  20. Dear Greatbong/Kishore:

    Oh Mr. Kishore: I have news for you:

    RAVI SHASTRI IS NOT A MAHARAHSHTRIAN

    SHIVRAJ PATIL IS NOT A MAHRASHTRIAN

    RAVI SHASHTRI IS NOT A MAHARASHTRIAN

    SHIVRAJ PATIL IS NOT A MAHARASHTRIAN

    SHIVRAJ PATIL IS NOT A Mahrashtrian

    RAVI SHASHTRI IS NOT A MAHRASHTRRIAN

    So you may stop seeing a Mahrashtrian angle in him or suggesting with him around as a Marathi or him being Marathi, things will go bad without doubt. HE IS NOT A MARATHI. Even greatbong fell into that same trap that thinking that because he knows Marathi he is a Maharashtrian. Just as all people who know English are not Englishmen, all those who know Marathi are not Maharashtrians.

    Get that into your heads once and for all before abusing, ridiculing and insulting Maharashtrians.(N.B. Greatbong-not meant for you). I saw somewhere else too that you had blamed RShastri for being Marathi and said with Marathis around he got in and would mess up the place-read the following:

    Ravi Shastri is a KANNADIGA (i.e KARNATAKA)
    Ravi Shastri is a KANNADIGA (i.e. KARNATAKA)
    Ravi Shastri is a KANNADIGA (i.e KARNATAKA)
    Shivraj Patil is a KANNADIGA (Ditto)

    FYI, Ravi Shastri is a Shastri from KA, Shastri is always a Ksnnadiga name NEVER a Mahrashtrian name. If you knew this basic fact, Shastri would never have seemed like a Maharashtrian-the surname itself is such a giveaway. Greatbong too, I hope you will never make the mistake of thinking Shastri is a Maharashtrian. It’s such a simple thing-and you guys got it wrong.

    Hope this clarifies matters,
    Best
    Sawai Kishore

  21. GB:

    Really sorry about intruding and diverting this thread but couldn’t think of any other way. I’ve seen many many people do this-mistake Ravi Shashtri for a Maharashtrian (Kishore being just one of many) and commend/condemn Mahrashtrians as the case may be or abuse them or whatever. Even you thought he was a Maharashtrian. He is actually a Kannadiga, so also Shivraj Patil. They are both from KARNATAKA, not MAHARASHTRA.

    Hope you won’t make this elementary mistake

    P.S. S Patil is a Lingayat (prominent Kannada caste). That settles it. Lingayats are only from KA.

  22. @ Sawai Kishore :
    Thanks for enlightening us with that invaluable piece of information.
    But what’s the big deal about it?
    One line was enough to serve the purpose.
    Why such a long comment and so many ‘ABC is not XYZ’ kind of statements?
    Why are you so upset with the fact that Ravi Shastri has been referred to as a Maharashtrian?
    By birth he might not be one but he has always represented Bombay and the Bombay lobby in Indian Cricket.

    Among all the appreciative and funny comments in response to an utterly hilarious post, your comments stand totally out of place and make the comment space look ugly.

  23. I wish I hadn’t read this post.. .. Just so that I could have the pleasure of reading it for the first time again.

    Randomwa Bakchodi….HeHeHe. Hats off.

  24. @ on sawai kishore:

    it’s not RTDM if there’s no random diversionary comment. i quite enjoy that as much as the actual post.

    and please spell kishor correctly or he gets angry.

  25. “Handsome best man” :)!! Arnab, now you know what I was referring to when I was discussing Jat sartorial taste on the Sonu Nigam post.

    Hasn’t Sunil Singh heard of Prabhuji’s phataphati dialogue –

    Marbo ekhaaney
    Lash porbey shoshaaney

    (Here I am beating
    to graveyard you are retreating)

  26. “critically acclaimed Hit” , “done a lot to promote bhojpuri talent ” and the icing on the cake “Randomwa bokchodi” – BRILLIANT post. One of ur best. 🙂

  27. so just because’s he born in Bombay, he becomes Maharashtrian is it? Come on. I suppose Ratan Tata and Mukesh Ambani are also Maharashtrian by that criteria. As are Dilip Piramal, Swati Piramal, Anil Ambani, Gerson da Cunha and Adi Godrej. Since when did everyone born in Mumbai become Maharashtrian? By birth-does LN Mittal, Vijay Mallya et al become Bengali? Contrary to what you say, whether he’s represnted Bombay or not, it makes NO difference: he’s not Maharashtrian. This arguement is certainly important because of one very simple reason: Kishor was abusing Maharashtrians not too long ago and saying that with the BCCI run by Maharashtrians, what would you expect anyway but incompetence? Maharashtrians=incompetence. WHich was why BCCI was run the way it was. Etc. However, he added inter-alia Ravi Shastri is a Maharashtrian. NO he isn’t. Then Great Bong also said that Ravi Shastri is a Maharashtrian. So if these two guys think so, there must many who think so. I want to set the record straight-nothing more, nothing less.

    Whether he’s represented the Bombay lobby or not is a separate matter. Don’t obfuscate the issue: first you say he’s Marathi and then when you’re proven wrong, you make an irrelevant point about his birth and then say he represented the Bombay lobby. All this is beside the point. Neither by Birth nor by language or by anything else is Shastri a Maharashtrian. I would not be writing this if the Kishors, Shans and others of the world had had the courtesy to keep Shastri out of their general diatreabe against Maharashtrians. Abuse Marathis as much as you want, but don’t drag Shastri into this. Kishor started this by accusing Shastri of being Maharashtrian, and therefore by virtue of his ethnicity/ language group, incompetent, lazy, inept and parochial. So did Arnab. I have written this because Kishor and co. were calling him a Maharashtrian. I think Mr. Kishor also remembers the blog when he accused Shastri of being Maharashtrian in his comments. I think I do not have to provide the link. This post is to correct the impressions of the Kishors of the world-nothing more. Remember: it was he who accused him of being Marathi. I was very upset at that. Shashtri is 100 % Kannadiga. No two ways about it. This post is neccessary to correct misinformation and prejudices. So Kishor, asking “So what?” won’t save you. You were the one lambasting him and including him in the Maharashtrian lobby, so you have brought it upon yourself.

    Sawai Kishor

  28. Do to the Marathis what the Americans did to the Japs in World War II: drop a bomb on them once and for all.

    Fuck the Marathis!

    [GB adds: For some strange reason, this comment comes from the same IP as “Sawai Kishore”.]

  29. Greatbong,

    one hilarious post it is. “Randomwa Bakchodi”- could’nt stop laughing on this one.
    i’ve been reading your blog for a while and really enjoy the humour in your writing- love your mithun posts. Having been raised in Calcutta, liked and identified with your posts analysing the reasons for the dismal economic and political state of affairs in West Bengal.

    Akhil (Bombay)

  30. @Kishor:
    Sawai Kishore is actually a maharashtrian who couldn’t digest whatever was being said of the Bombay lobby’s attitude towards Indian cricket. Since Ravi Shashtri (Kannadiga or Maharashtrian or whatever) is a face of the Bombay lobby, to ‘save some face’ Sawai Kishore is desperate to establish the fact that this lobbying and anti-Ganguly-ism are not something only Maharashtrians do, even Kannadigas are involved in it.
    I fail to understand where the reference of Shivraj Patil comes from though.

    But, one thing has come out clearer now. If Sawai Kishore is to be believed and Ravi Shashtri really has some Kannadiga roots, we get a valid reason why he is so anti-Ganguly. I’m not by any means trying to say that all Kannadigas are anti-Ganguly, but from my own experience of spending five straight years in Bangalore in the close proximity of the Kannadigas I can say it’s the general feeling there. Most kannadigas still can’t come to terms with the fact that Ganguly became captain, that too a very successful one, before Kumble and Dravid.

  31. Sawai Kishore :
    You did so much writing just to say that Ravi Chakri is not Maharashtrian ?
    You must be a Ph D. Student.
    Why dont you write a Thesis on Ravi Shastri’s birth and how much pain her mom got when he was born. You have a bright future mate..
    Keep going…
    Why dont Bomb whole India and let all the Kannadigas leave alone.
    By your motto ‘ Fcuk’em All… 🙂

    Thanks,
    Tarzan

  32. dEbOLiN:

    But if Sawai Kishore is a Ravi Shastri fan, no one can save him except mental asylum (and I am not sure if any Ravi Shastri fans are existing on this part of the earth).

  33. Ah Debolin! You need proof is it? Well, well, here you go!

    “I played for Mumbai, but I am, from Mangalore, right here in Karnataka,” Ravi Shastri, the former Indian captain, boomed, and as master of ceremonies, he had everyone’s attention.

    http://content-www.cricinfo.com/icl/content/story/284778.html

    Does this answer your questions once and for all? You, Kishor, GB and all others.

    P.S. Mangalore, is I think, very much in Karnataka?

    P.P.S. The point is simple: Ravi Shastri only plays for Mumbai. He is a pukka Kannadiga. I will keep on repeating this till everyone accepts this-that he is a Kannadiga, and that by rights, along with Prasanna, Kumble, Dravid, Chandrashekhar, David Johnson, Dodda Ganesh-he too must be added to the panethon of Karnataka players. He is as much a Maharashtrian as Mukesh Ambani. This simple point, that where one is born does not mean you are from that place-any more than LN Mittal being Bengali by virtue of his birth.

    In any case, for most of the post-independence years, India’s team=Karnataka’s cricket team. Kannada=language of Indian dressing room.

    P.P.S If Bengal has always had such good players who never got a chance and assuming that Bengal Ranji Team has always been packed with good players who were denied opportunities, and following from this assumption, then other teams were politically more savvy-than their state teams should be actually worse or only as good as the Bengal team. Right? If Bengal has always been packed with good players-then why has the Bengal Ranji Team struggled for years and years together against its counterparts from Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and even a team like Mumbai? Do you have a convincing answer to this question? If indeed the Bengal team kept producing good players who were just sidelined, then the Bengal Ranji Team should have been full of these world-class players? Then the Bengal Ranji Team should have been a very formidable one-consistently winning the Ranjis because their side was full of good players whereas other teams were only better at politics? The Bengal team should have kept, right from the 1960s to now, beating everyone in town and constantly winning most of the Ranji trophies? If the team really had so many good players, why has Bengal won so few Ranjis? Why is it only in the last 4-5 years that the Bengal team has shown improvement? If Bengal has always been packed with so many excellent players, and KA were politicians, than Bengal should have kept beating all other state teams in India consistently for a 30-40 year period. Right? If Bengal had such good players all the time, why is Bengal’s Ranji record so poor compared to KA, Tamil Nadu, and even-Mumbai?

    Are there any answers?

  34. Arnab,
    You may have received the most humorous blog of the year award but you have to admit that some of the commenters here are way more amusing than your best posts. I am loving this Sawai guy.
    Having said that, those two golden words in your post brought me real laughs. Reminded me of my Bihar roots. I see you have found a great advisor in Rohit.
    Way to go.
    Debasish

  35. @Sawai Kishor:

    “I will keep on repeating this till everyone accepts this-that he is a Kannadiga…”

    Just to spite you, we refuse to accept that Shastri is Kannadiga. What are you gonna do? Huh?

  36. Pingback: Not All Those Who Wander Are LostGnu · Made in Haryana

  37. shastri must himself be quite amused at his roots overtaking all other issues and becoming a point of heated debate!! wont be surprised if ndtv has a daylong programme on shastri’s roots now!!!

  38. Pingback: 2007-A numbskulling story ! - Episode III: Revenge of the Britt ! « The Chronicles of being BONGO !

  39. we must sign a petition regarding this…. they shuld lift the bann niw and tht producer shuld be ban, not mithunda’s movies… wwww.mithunda.com

  40. Pingback: Les Be Happy at Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind

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