There is so much tequila one can drink and head-ache pills one can take and time one can kill. Which is why I have been unable to see many of the gems that have been released this year, each of them possible candidates for my “awesomely great movies”— the “Reds”, the “Cash”s, the “ShakalakaBoomBoom”s, the “Fool N Finals”, the “Good Boy Bad Boy”s and the “Naqaab”s. Based on the ones I did manage to see however, here is my list of the 5 movies of 2007 that will be remembered in the anals (intentionally misspelt) of Hindi filmdom.
5. Raqeeb—Rivals in Love: The reasons why I loved Raqeeb are:
a) A love quadrilateral. Nothing gets my respect more than when people dare to dream beyond the hoary triangle.
b) Rahul Khanna standing up in a restaurant and saying ” I am not gay” ala Larry Craig.
c) Plump bird Tanusree Dutta and her Jharkhands.
d) The most wicked plot resolution. Ever. After the villains make an elaborate (and I do mean elaborate) plan to murder the hero, they find that the hero has seen through their whole plot. How? Through deduction? No. Through guesswork? No. Then how? Well as the hero reveals: when the villains were making their plots, “sab computer pe record ho gya” and he came to know of it immediately. That’s it. Wickedly simple and yet like all great twists I never saw it coming.
4. Red Swastika: Mona Chopra aka Sherlyn Chopra’s ambition is to do a porn movie with Martin Scorcese. She did her ambition of being noted by Marty no harm this year with her pivotal role in “Red Swastika”, a cerebral, sensual thriller from the warped mind of Vinod Pande which pitted the noted thespian Deepsikha against Mona Chopra, creating a takkar-pe-takkar treat for the senses on the lines of Robert De Niro vs Al Pacino in “Heat”. For more on this movie and its significance, please read this review.
3. Phir Tauba Tauba: If you come today, you are too early. If you come tomorrow, you are too late. And if you come once, you have to come again. Which is why a sequel to “Tauba Tauba” , fem-bot Payal Rohatgi’s greatest hit, was always inevitable. Helmed by the creative genius of T L V Prasad, who brought you “Naughty Boy” last year, “Phir Tauba Tauba” takes the hero from “Naughty Boy” and the hero of doubtful gender from the original “Tauba Tauba”, adds in legendary Sawan Kumar Tak favorite Saadhika (last seen in “Salma Pe Dil Aa Gya” and the song Kudrat ka nazara, “ball”-a re “ball”-a), garnishes it with a little bit of Rahul Roy in brief swimming trunks and serves it up with generous dollops of mystery and sensuality.
However what makes “Phir Tauba Tauba” a class above, are the poetically subtle dialogs with multiple meanings —the true significance of which are not always immediately apparent.
British waitress Molina in black bra [sings in British accent]: “Choli ke peeche kya hain, choli ke peeche, chunri main dil hain oooh oohhhh ho haaa”
Hero: Molina, tumhe pata hain choli ke neeche kya hota hain?
Bobby Darling: Molina, choli ke peeche dudu naheen hota hain heart hota hain.
Yes. A lot of heart this movie has. I guarantee you that.
2. Parveen Bobby: It is well known that Parveen Babi, one of Bollywood’s leading ladies of the 70s, had a tragic life having being used and abused by leading men and directors. So what better way to pay her a tribute than by exploiting her name once again to sell a sleaze-fest. Of course the movie “Parveen Bobby” ,despite the name, has only passing similarity to the life of the original actress, perhaps because there was little of her story that had already not been exploited by Mahesh Bhatt.
Make no mistake however. “Parveen Bobby” may not directly be about Parveen Babi but it is all about exploitation. More specifically, exploitation in the film industry where men use women as stepping stones and other men as humping bags. Less a flight of fantasy and more an underground documentary, “Parveen Bobby” blows the lid off Bollywood hypocrisy and in an year where a leading playback singer accused a scribe of having sent him manly proposals (technically called Sonu-spanking) , such a movie can scarcely go unnoticed.
In a RTDM exclusive, we bring you a video clip from the movie which informed readers will immediately realize is a scene that is more fact than fiction, more art than seduction.
[Video Link] (quasi not safe for work)
1. Old Is Gold Nothing can be truer than this age-old maxim and if there is anyone who doubts it, he/she is advised to watch “Old is Gold” where “Saukheen” meets “Dil Chahata Hain” in a manner no-one could have imagined possible.
Bosom buddies Kader Khan and Asrani are lecherous married men bored with their wives (Himani Shivpuri and Amita Nangia, a curiously coincidental name for an actress in a Shakti Kapoor movie). Their common friend Shakti Kapoor, the CEO of a large software company (who as the narrator tells us “aapne office main laadkon ke muqable zyada tar ladies staff rakhte hain”), is however single despite his age and his supremely fit “gym-hardened” body and the classy romantic lines, full of IT jargon, that he delivers looking at his comely “ladies” employees (not looking at their faces of course, he is too decent for that):
Tumhare software dekha . Software dekhkar bahoot maza aaya. Hum ne tumhara poora software aapna hard disk main utaar liya hain.
But every dog, even one like Shakti Kapoor, has his day and he gets to meet another desperate lady on chat, they connect emotionally and she asks him to come down to Goa. Kader Khan and Asrani join in, if only to get the opportunity to score some hot babes.
And so, the three senescent men take a life-altering trip down to Goa where they encounter lusty couples, a moronic don named Johnny Fracture and his midget cohort Salim Nata (a tribute to Gunda’s Lamboo Aata) , a Hindi-speaking Russian dancer, blackmailers, a daft detective and a biker gang of eunuchs in leather bras and shorts— all of which culminate in an amazingly choreographed “tribute to Andaz Apna Apna” climax where Shakti Kapoor bites the breasts of one of the Hijra goons (picture to the left) and comes up with a ball in his mouth.
The acting is top-class and of the three, mega-lusty Asrani is the surprise packet stealing the thunder away from the ever-reliable Shakti Kapoor. What however impressed me most was the beautiful way the director depicts the first meeting of two chat-pals: something that I have not seen any Bollywood director ever address with such finesse. No the two lovers do not sing “Ainaa bata kaise unka dil churana hain. Aaj phir akele main unse milne jana hain. Mohabbat hain Mohabbat hain”.
No they do not. Cause there is no such “mohabbat” in Net relations.
Instead what they do is this.
Heroine: Maine black color ka skirt-top aur pink color ke scaf baalon main lagaaya hain aur pink ki color ki lipstick bhi lagai hain. Aur aap?
Shakti Kapoor: Maine pahene hain pink kurta. Aur pink jeans. Aur mere baal khaare hain
Heroine: Oohhh. Pinkie pinkooo…
Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
[Old is Gold photos courtesy here]