Sanjay Gadhvi, who had last dressed up Hrithik Roshan as Queen Elizabeth, almost broke the Abhi-Ash wedding by making Ms Happy Plastic kiss another Mr. Fantastic and also wrote the most beautifully poetic line in recent memory “Are you like checking me out?” in Dhoom 2 , is back with “Kidnap”, a movie that is unique in that it is totally built around just one and only one concept—cleavage.
From the opening shot of “Kidnap” that pans off from “Mini”-ssha Lamba’s landing pads to assorted loving close-ups and wide-angles of all kinds of cleavages—not just of Minissha Lamba but also of her uber-hot mother’s (as different from the classic Nirupa Roy ideal as the Imam Bukhari is from Praveen Togadia), Gadvvi never loses sight (and never lets the audience lose sight) of the movie’s central motif. Even beef-cake hunky Imran Khan has to show off a massive expanse of chest and only Reema Lagoo, because she plays the grandmother, is spared from the general madness.
Does “Kidnap” have a story? Does it have a script?
As the cool kidnapper character played by Imran Khan tells the mother of the victim—-“Wrong questions”.
Instead you should be asking why does “Kidnap” have a story? Why does it have a script?
For one purpose and one purpose only. To enable the director to transition from a shot of a blue bra to that of a white bikini to that of a yellow bra. Consider this. Minissha Lamba has been kidnapped by Imran Khan for some reason (and this “why” is what the movie is all about). Clad only in a bikini (naturally) when she is kidnapped, throughout her period of confinement, she keeps changing from one push-up to another. (Al Faran and other professional kidnappers kindly note how considerate they should be to their hostages in terms of wardrobe provided)
And then one day she complains to her kidnapper— there is no water for bathing. She begs and pleads to her captor, pleading for him to “understand”. But before he does, we have. In order for her to serve the purpose of the the movie, she most definitely needs to bathe if only so that she can get into the water and periodically rise in slow-motion to the tune of “Mausaam yeh awesome bada”while contorting her body into various “awesome” poses with droplets of water cascading from her hull and mast.
Performance-wise, the movie is all about newly “bold” Minissha Lamba ( the boldness is just because the role demands it) as the principal mannequin for assorted lingerie and bathing suits. Imran Khan’s performance is wooden for the most part and looking at Minissha’s wardrobe, that’s something understandable. Paraphrasing a wise man from the world of Gunda “Minissha Lamba ne usko Lamba kar diya, maachish ki teeli ko…” and yes you know the rest. (And if you don’t may I recommend a viewing of “Gunda“)
In short, an evergreen cleavage classic from Sanjay Gadvi. “Neil N Nikki” now has severe competition.