The World Cup’s first week has been, as expected, spectacular. The ICC unveiled its bold new vision to rid the game of its thorniest problem. No not match fixing you fool. I am talking about ordinary ticket-buying spectators. It has been long known in the corridors of power that people who buy tickets are the enemies of the game, taking away precious space from corporate boxes, hospitality booths and enclosures for VIPs, encroaching onto ad banner space and the other things that make cricket the game it is. Which is why this time the ICC decided to sell a few thousand tickets for the marquee game to the ordinary folk, leading to scenes straight out of Egypt and Libya as the cops made the “Palti Hit” and the “Upar Cut” the official strokes of the World Cup. Bravo. And I am not talking about Dwayne Bravo who twisted his ankle, which I am sure will fix itself right before the IPL.
The cricket was of course full of glorious uncertainties and unanswered questions. Would Kenya’s army of Big Os (Odoyo, Ouma, Obuya) be bowled out within the thirty-second over or could they drag it to the thirty-eighth? How many Indians will be in the Canadian final XI? Is Munaf Patel, floating like a butterfly at mid-on, concentrating on Junaid Siddique or Imrul Kaye’s middle stump? Why has this South African man, Vincent Barnes named his dog Sachin and how should we as Indians express our outrage at “bhagwan ka apman” (to quote India TV)? Who will win the Investor’s Clinic car, the one with Yuvraj Singh’s picture on the side, in Big Toss? Whose great idea was it to use Yuvraj Singh as a symbol of level-headed investment? Is Rakhi Sawant being honest when she tells Yuvraj Singh’s dad “Main aapki Menaka baanne ke liye taiyaar hoon”? Or is her true intention revealed when she says “Main Soniya Gandhi banna chahtee hoon.” And finally why does the astrologer tell Rakhi that mor (peacocks) kabhi sex naheen karta? [Link]
Of course the highlight of the week remains Ricky the Punter Ponting’s breaking of the LCD TV in the dressing room. Of course that an Australian engaged in hooliganism is not surprising, the Australian contingent in the Commonwealth Games did the same, representative as they are of a country with the noblest of sporting traditions. What was interesting was initial reports that Ponting had struck the TV with his bat. The moment I heard it I knew ki daal mein kuch kala hai since if Ponting, in his current form, had tried to hit a TV with his bat he would possibly have missed it all together. All my doubts were put to rest when I read the real explanation.
Ponting reacted angrily after he was run out for 28 against Zimbabwe on Monday but was amused at the furore that followed after a television was struck by his groin protector. [Link]
That makes sense. The mighty captain possibly humped the television, striking it with groin. It may have been the frustration of getting bogged down by Zimbabwe. It may have been the frustration of not making money at the IPL. Or it may have been triggered by Big Toss on television or hearing yet another pearl of wisdom from Ranjit Fernando. Whatever it be, Ricky Ponting attacking a television with his groin (protector) has been the single most dramatic moment the last week.
What can I say? So far, its been that kind of a tournament.
[Image courtesy: The Telegraph]
The Greatbong Blog & Podcast 
First!
Superb! The Ponting parts are just too funny 🙂
Hilarious! Loved the Ponting smash 🙂
GB if you are playing fantasy on cricinfo can you tell us your team’s name? We want to see what kind of investments you are making.
Thanks
awesome as usual….
GB if you are playing fantasy on cricinfo can you tell us your team’s name? We want to see what kind of investments you are making.
Thanks
nothing about the India Bangladesh game?
I love the way you use humour/sarcasm to highlight a serious issue like the common man being unfairly lathi charged for want of tickets. Nobody does that with such panache. And that Bravo line – well said.
Of course, the Rakhi parts including the video takes the cake. The astrologer is just sooo entertaining. “Main shiv ka bhakt hoon”.. Makes me crack up.
Brilliant stuff! Dont understand why mainstream newspapers dont carry this kinda coverage of the World Cup. Better than reading match highlights really.
Bong Fan,
Not playing fantasy.
Ponting dry hump is hilarious!!
Spectators getting beaten up was annoying!!
If the Indian team does not perform, then the same fans (shown in the photograph) would have their a$$es lathi-charged a second time while protesting outside their local cricketing star’s house. 🙂
No mention about Dhoni coming to the inauguration in a rickshaw (so did the other captains)!!!!!
I think the telgraph guys click the pics as per your requirments 😀
I mean they are whacky as hell. Kudos
Kiddies throw toys out of the pram, Ricky throws the pram itself out! 😛
GB who will win the India vs England match?
really laughing my ass off!
great way to sarcastically sum up the attitude of the ICC/BCCI towards the fans…first para…I was at the stadium on Thursday morning at 3am to ( hopefully ) queue up early and get tickets…i aimed for the 4000 Rs one, hoping that the queue will be shorter..totally wrong assumption. Some ground reality abt the way the KSCA mismanaged this.
1) Pathetic queueing arrangements. For an expected turnout of 5000 people for a given queue, the temp barricade type que which they had arranged could fit in a line of 100 people. so u can imagine. 5000 people trying to fit into a length meant for 100.
2) NOt allowing people to queue up early. I mean what are the chances that Indians reach early ( in this case many hours earlier than the scheduled ticket distribution time of 830am) and voluntarily decide to queue up. and how does the police react to that. Shoo away que aspirants. Bad show Kumble !
“The ICC unveiled its bold new vision to rid the game of its thorniest problem [..]ordinary ticket-buying spectators. ”
Totally spot on and clearly identified.
There are only 4000 tickets to be sold to the ticket-buying spectators for the World cup final match!!!!
@Sudipto
Telegraph took the photo to highlight the S&M nature of Cricket…First the fans get spanked, then their favourite team gets spanked.
Ponting couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo.
(dialogue plagiarized from a british newspaper..England batsmen replaced by Ponting).
The ponting part has made me laugh so hard..
Awesomely Hilarious as far as Pointing part is concerned.